Mission-Possible

The Place of the Nest

2010-06-03T14:31:00.006+02:00

I heard a myth recently that hit me somewhere in the region of my heart. If the myth is fact or fantasy, I do not know. A very little research on my part suggested....well, enough ne-sayers and ye-sayers to make it mysterious. But I guess that would be the point. If I were an eagle, I would want it that way, too.

The myth goes something like this......when eagles reach middle age, they face a major decision. Over time, their beaks have grown and bent awkwardly, their claws have become too long, making catching prey very difficult, and their feathers so long, thick, and matted that flight is an increasingly growing effort. Thus, they reach a point where they must, each of them, choose life or death. If they let themselves remain as they are, they will eventually die. If, however, they choose life, their path will get much harder and lonelier for a time.

The eagle, to save his life, must retreat to the remotest of nests, in the highest of places, and there, completely alone, begin his 'transformation.' At first he knocks his beak against a rock until it breaks. Then he waits, until it grows back, to continue on. For with his new beak, he will destroy his claws, and pluck out his feathers, one by one. And then, he will wait, again. Wait for each feather and each claw to re-grow, fresh and new.

The eagle is by nature a creature of relational intimacy, having one mate for life. If this myth is true, this time of waiting must truly be one of the greatest challenges of his life. He is stripped of that which gives him joy; his flight, his strength, his identity, his community, for the sake of its renewal, in the end. That hope must be the one thing that carries him through, minute for minute, sacrifice for sacrifice.

For at the conclusion of his season of solitude, he is then able to return to the skies, leaving his nest for the first time in months, lighter, stronger, freer...with the assurance of life. For 'those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strenth; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint (Isa 40:31).

Again, I do not know if this story is true, and do not want to assert fact from fiction. However, myths are also there, for a reason. Lessons are taught, and we can...relate. For with the Lord, there are times of seclusion, where He takes us aside to strip us of the lies that bind us, the weights that burden us, the world that would seek to poison us. And all of this is for the sake of LIFE, if we would but believe.

History shares of disciples who found themselves at some time or another in their own remote nests, hidden, in process. And our lives share the same story here and there, as we follow our Shepard where He would lead.

We follow Him, we submit, and we wait. And then, there begins the creeping ache....we smell the wind and see the empty skies, so very empty, and we know we must fill them once again. Our wings reach up to stretch again and again testing to see if we are at last, ready. Signs of life return, and the pain of the ache reminds us of that which we were created for.....and anticipation feeds our soul til' the moment we can take to the skies and once again, soar.

Our Father in Heaven takes us from Glory to Glory...the valley is often only the nest that takes us there, if we will believe.

Albania Mission Trip August 2009

2009-09-15T23:18:00.084+02:00

On August 17th, U-NITE Nürnberg went on its first official mission trip to Pogradec, Albania! This trip was certainly a watershed experience for us, not only as a group, but also in terms of serving another nation, as well as sowing into the future. I believe that we will reap a harvest from this trip for years to come.

But what was it like?.....Well, 'adventure' is probably too tame of a word as the pictures below reveal. Our team of 16 was challenged in some fascinating ways indeed...serving to bring out the best in each person, and the group as a whole. I have to say, I was really really proud of how the team responded to the situations we found ourselves in. God proved to be big in each person, and big in Albania :-)

So, I think the best way to share with you what we did exactly is to explain using the pictures below. Before that, I will say that we traveled to Pogradec to work with a ministry there called Nehemiah, Albania. This organization serves in enormous ways to meet social needs, as well as spiritual needs, in this country. It was an honor to serve with them during our time there...

So, here we go...our trip :-) .....

Being sent out from church the Sunday we left for our trip
(originally we hoped it would take us 24 hours to drive there....)

View from our church rooms as we were packing up and getting ready to leave....

Me taking care of all of our passports...

Our Team
(Plus one of our vans...the one, we discovered later,..with the not so perfect paperwork for the Eastern European Borders.... )

This was Volker's van, the car that didn't seem to want to try, as we came to found out....

After having already stopped a couple times in Austria and at the Hungarian border due to problems with Volker's van..it just, well, the power repeatedly went out on the highway, we ended up buying a rope in case we had to tow it (since it was Sunday and no mechanic shops were open),

we were all just happy that somehow we were able to keep driving....

And we found a nice little spot on the side of the highway where we could eat dinner, have our daily Bible study, and pray together...

And then, a couple of hours before dawn, after having been stopped at several borders already because the papers to our blue van were not exactly what they wanted (meaning we had to pay extra), we were again paying for the unfortunate papers at the Serbian border when we saw it....the very unhappy tire...

.......

.........

But then something very amazing happened (according to us girls anyway)...the men became very suddenly very excited.....at 5 am in the morning, tired faces came to life because there was a problem to be solved.......after our suggesting things like, get to the next gas station, we girls realized this was a man thing and so we just stood back watched, amazed at their sudden change :-)

So, the tire was fixed and we drove on...stopping off in Serbia to check Volker's car and repair our very sad tire, then driving on into the mountains of Macedonia....where Volker's car became unsure, once again, if it really wanted to try....but thankfully it decided that it did, and so we drove to the Albania border....

but they did not want our money for our pesky papers, instead they didn't want to let us in at all......

Thankfully, though, Pogradec was just a few miles away, so Arnold Geiger, the very well-known head of Nehemia in Albania, who had once been a policeman in Munich, came to our rescue...

And so after 32 hours (instead of the 24 we had hoped for) after 10pm Monday at night..

We arrived in Pogradec...

And ate dinner :-) and then fell into our beds...

.......
We slept in the school..girls on the top floor, guys on the 2nd floor...toilets in the floor (ie. holes in the floor...a detail which became more, um, meaningful, later..)

And so, on Tuesday, we unloaded the vans and organized...

..toured the Nehemia grounds (church, school, guest house, office buildings...)

Ate the amazing lunch they had for us each day....

And then the actual mission began...

We met with the youth leaders of Nehemiah and prayed an worshipped together..ending up praying for the leaders there, which became a very powerful time of encouragement for them....

Later on we toured a hospital in town...trash was everywhere outside, and inside there were trash baskets in the rooms with bloody clothes just lying in them, and an unbuilt x-ray machine hanging out in one of the halls...you could tell they are having to do the best with what they have and with what they don't have..

The view from the roof of the hospital building over Pogradec was lovely...

Irida, one of the youth leaders with Nehemiah...

On the next day we went to a village on the sea called Lin....

As all 16 of us walked through the village, with guitars, etc., we drew a lot of attention, which is what we wanted :-)

We were certainly not their everyday experience....

And the boys in the area liked us especially....following us to...wherever we were going...

We ended up finding a good open space near the water where we could gather people

Someone played worship and we danced and played with the kids..

And they showed us a thing or two ... :-)

Later we moved to a different part of the village where Bärbel, our pastor, was able to minister to an elderly woman...

And we played more music and shared the Gospel with the children....

And that is when we met Edre...the little guy with the bandage on his eye. Before we had even left for Albania, during a prayer meeting Lenny felt that we would meet a kid with a bandage on his eye. And then, in that day, there he was..except he was the shyest of all the kids, and actually ran away when we tried to talk with him......but then Lenny found Edre's mother working in a little grocery store and asked if he could pray for him...she, although a Muslim, said yes...so Lenny prayed, but then Edre ran away again. Somehow, though, eventually he found his way to me and became my 'protector' for the rest of the afternoon...he stayed near me even held my camera away from the other boys who wanted to play with it, so I could worship with the music.....

And, later on, as we walked to their little 'beach,' he showed us delightedly how his other friends were such great swimmers...

making sure we clapped for each one as they did crazy jumps off the pier...

And he kept showing me with his hands that he was also a good swimmer...until he had had enough...he stood up, took the bandaid off of his eye (for which I had a little bit of fear, wondering what I was about to see...but it looked okay), stuck it in his pocket, took his shirt off, and jumped into the water... making sure we saw what cool things he could do. Later on, when he was finished swimming, he came back over to me, handed me the band-aid, and had me put it back on his eye for him :-) I was officially in love, my first 'mommy crush'

And, I have to say, he was my personal highlight of the trip. I am trusting God that Edre will remember the day we were there, remember God being there, and choose to serve Him with his whole life...

In the evening we learned a little bit of Albanien dancing in town as we searched for a place to have U-NITE...

Then we had the privilege of visiting the Amora Tan School headed by Nemehiah ...

....this school was created so that children who come from very poor families and are in danger of being sold into prostitution or for body parts can go to school in safety, with a security guard that watches over them the entire day, and where they can learn about Jesus...

The director of the school showed us the classrooms..even how they teach Creation rather than Evolution through the numbers on the wall (with with the creation stories painted in each letter..)

And we were able to pray for God to bless the school ...

This is the cafeteria, and on the wall it is written, 'Thank you, God' in Albanien

On another day we were able to go back to the school and play with the children...

We talked with them...

Played games..
Sang songs and danced..

And prayed with them...the really amazed us with the strength of their prayers...this school is really a treasure chest hidden in the midst of corruption and poverty...we were truly amazed..

In the evening the guys played on the soccer/basketball court....

And I learned how to make dreads for Rachel, one of our team members :-)

Then, the big day came where we were split up into groups to help with various social projects that Nehemiah needed to have done...

One team went to help move a Bibleschool to a new location,

One team stayed at Nehemia to help with some needed physical labor (moving wood blocks, etc.)

And the other team (myself included), went to Misto...

This is Misto...an 80 something year old man who was found living on the streets and well, after they found a place for him to live, they discovered that he is a collecter of....stuff...

So we went into his house to clean and disinfect it..

This is the lime we used to paint the walls...apparently this is good for disinfecting things,

but it is not so good for swimming in the eye...

which I unfortunately came to find out while painting the ceiling, so the doctor literally came to pick me up and take me to the Nehemiah clinic so he could wash my eye out..

...and then someone else got lime in the eye...

..And then two other people started getting sick...

So our entire team assigned to finish Misto's house was suddenly out of commission, causing the other two teams to rise up...the team that helped move the Bible school finished their task in order to come help at Misto's...but then they got sick (from the heat), too....so then the third team, at Nehemiah, finished their task to come help as well....

Until finally Misto got his newly disinfected home back--complete.

That evening (Thursday) we then went to the beach to look for locations where we could gather people for our U-NITE outreach meeting on Friday...

On this night, the atmosphere and the people were very closed. We realized that it was spiritual warfare, so after trying to reach out, we ended up just having a worship time at a place often used for outdoor concerts, trusting God that it would make a way for the next night.

One the following day, we drove to a remote village...

Encountering a little 'traffic,' along the way...

We then toured the village and invited them to a meeting where we led worship and spoke an encouraging word...

At that time we were all fit and having fun...

Having a great time there in that village...

Until...

We returned to the Nehemia grounds and several of us, after coffee and cake, sat in our rooms telling each other how we very suddenly felt strange...we didn't want to imagine that it was teh same sickness we'd heard the family at Nehemiah had had the week before...diarrhea and vomitting....

Indded, we had U-NITE that night...

But that didn't seem to stop what came next...

Two of us ended up in the bathroom and when we came out, there were mattesses laying on the landing right next to the bathrooms for us (bathrooms with holes in the floor...), then a third person found herself in the bathroom, and then on a mattress on the landing....

...and yes, we were sick, very sick...

In this pic, the landing, our mattresses, door to one of the bathrooms (on the left) us, and Josefa, the one who became our very unexpected and very amazing trip nurse :-)

Meanwhile, the members of our team who were, at this time, still healthy, proceeded on to Pogradec to have U-NITE..

And this evening was a major success!
Worshipping and interceding the night before, plus the spiritual warfare obvious in many of us getting sick was well worh it! The children came...

The crowds gathered..and our team shared the Gospel...one of the youth leaders there said she had never done outreach like that before and was absolutely encouraged and excited...God can move in Albania!!

So, after an amazing evening, the rest of the team arrived back to Nehemia. And that is when we began to hear the, by then, very familiar sounds again...running, door slamming, and yes, throwing up....at least two more of us were down for the count, on into the night...

In the morning, it all looked somehow like a war zone...some of the 'wounded' had recovered enough to leave their beds and at least move about for the day, others of us were not so lucky...and so the doctor came...

And the school turned into a make-shift hospital...

That is Lisa with her I.V. and the doctor putting in my I.V. with Rachel there for moral support

Claudia the worshipper, who even praised God while throwing-up

Thankfully, though, we were for the most part, much better by evening, enough to join the rest of the team and Nehemiah for a little going away party on our last evening there. And fit enough to go to church the next morning...

Claudi feeling and looking much revived

Our team after church...getting ready to get in the vans once more, and drive home...

Our trip home was very thankfully, 'uneventful,' and therefore shorter (27 hours), and we made it back to Germany all in one piece..well, that is to say, physically. I think spiritually we all left a piece of ourselves back in Albania...

And, imaginations were stirred not only for the next mission trip that U-NITE Nürnberg will undertake, but also in the hearts of those who are feeling an eventual call into the mission field....the future was impacted and we will never be the same...

Thank you for making this possible! You are the best!!!

Experiencing Croatia

2009-07-10T22:14:00.048+02:00

In this blog I just wanted to give you all a taste of what our two weeks in Croatia were like for us...it was a lovely time...full of sunsets and laughter and swimming and exploring and yes...Jesus :-) Take a look and see ...

Our Group

Me looking towards the pool from our balcony at our apartment complex

The Pool

Many of us in the Pool....Someone had the idea to jump in with clothing...

Benni Grilling one night at our complex

Waiting for the Yummy Food...

Daniel and I playing as we all Hang out by the pool in the evening

Our First Day at the water ... a little cold...

Ralf and Flo are Happy....
Ines and Bärbel Very Happy Indeed...Our First Swim at the beach

Our Favorite Place for our morning Devotionals

My Favorite Praying Rock after our morning devotional

Edeltraut is free (and set many of us free as she brought everything plus the kitchen sink along with her on the trip!)

Babsi full of life!

Ines in the Wind

Berna 'introspecting'

Alexander playing the 'guitar'

Off to the town Umag..the men discovered their sight-seeing position very early on

We too found fun places...

Sarah and I...

Thea in the light and on a motorcycle

Later...our favorite restaurant discovered...

Eating there at Night

Chatting....

And some trying more courageous dishes...

Running outside of the restaurant to catch the sunset in full bloom...

Bianca and Berna

Thea

Another day..Ines and I entertaining ourselves on the way to a new town...

The new town..a peninsula

Babsi, Edeltraut, and Bärbel

Ancient streets made modern through Art...

Do you think I should have bought this?

Yes, someone thought it was funny...I am the American (or Ami as they say), I know :-)

Coffee and Ice Cream

Another Day and a Photo Shoot in the Sunset...me

Thea and Ines

Thea and I

Surprise! Me, Thea, and someone unexpected...

Our last Group Photo...sad that it is our last evening...

'Tabernacling' . .. .

2008-10-09T12:35:00.004+02:00

There's a theme that I keep running into lately . . . . pieces, really, of a theme, that come from different angles. It involves tabernacling . . .

One piece of this puzzle has simply been hearing that on the 13th of October, the Jews will begin to celebrate their great seven-day festival of Sukkot, or the Feast of Tabernacles . . . a festival involving, literally, building a hut, somewhere nearby, where they will eat, relax, entertain, and even sleep. This holiday is to commemorate Israel's wilderness journey--and ultimately God's provision therein. Thus they very practically construct a dwelling in which they envelope, cover, and enclose themselves--a reminder of all that God did for them during a time when total dependency was the only 'lifestyle' available.

And they say that the festival of Sukkot is their most joyous holiday......

But if I remember correctly, the wilderness was hardly a fun-park for the Israelites at the time . . . it was more the hard, uncomfortable, no-frills process, day-by-day, step-by-step, of a people not only getting out of Egypt, but as Rick Joyner says, of God getting Egypt out of them. Getting out of Egypt, miracles included, was actually the easy part--God did all the work, and crossing the Jordan took place in one night . . . getting to the promised land, however, involved Israel's willingness to follow and obey and change . . . and that took 40 years . . . And one wonders . . . which took more courage, fleeing their enemies, or fleeing the enemy within . . .? I think history makes it clear.

And so does our life, as believers. Rick Joyner wrote a profound article that was posted on his website recently, remarking that if we are willing, we are all to be taken to, rather, (at least as it is meant to be), through the wilderness. And the wilderness involves, for each one of us, testing, proofing, cutting, unearthing, uprooting, weeding, planting, watering, and growing . . . . ie. hard hard work. Work that often, as Rick Joyner intimates, has more the flavor of failure than anything else . . . at least for a season. Learning and changing, by it's very nature, does not begin with getting straight A's (if that turns out to be the case, we should wonder if we are really allowing the wilderness to do the work in our lives that is intended, as true transformation comes at a price) . . . however I do believe that we can determine whether or not we 'finish' that way . . . and on into our promise land we can go . . .

I am writing about this because currently, I am becoming very familiar with the contours of the wilderness. Well, I have been here before. But maybe I am seeing more now, this time. The lessons are different, deeper, and they cut much closer to my inner-most man. The changes that are being expected of me have to do with who I am . . . or rather, who Christ is in me. Of course that was always the case before, but I recognize a greater expectation and responsibility on me this time around. The stakes are simply higher. And it all repeatedly reverts back to the same question . . . will I choose to cooperate, or not?

What does that mean, for us to cooperate in the wilderness?

I think that first of it all, it involves an understanding of what actually is to be attained in this process. You see, it was in the wilderness that God gave the Israelites instructions for building His dwelling place among them. It was in the wilderness that the Tabernacle was built. And it was in the wilderness that God came and dwelt among them...for the first time, but certainly not the last. In Jesus we see a greater 'dwelling among us.' And in the Holy Spirit, (the reason for whom it was better for us that Jesus 'go away,' so that He could be sent), we see the 'in-dwelling' or literal tabernacling of Him in us---Christ taking up residence in us through the Holy Spirit.

Just like the crossing of the Jordan, this residence of the HOly Spirit in us takes place the moment we are reborn . . .. however the wilderness is the determining factor in how much room He actually gets in us. Just as God was extremely particular about what the measurements were to be in the Old Testament, I believe He has a definite idea of how much room He gets to have within us. And it isn't just a corner, or one room where we visit off and on according to our convenience, or perhaps an entire section of our 'house,' Rather, He wants access to and headship over the whole thing--over you and me.

As you and I know, though, that does not just happen. It comes first with a recognition that that is what He wants, deserves, payed for, and has determined for our lives because He loves us. Then it comes through a choice we have to make as to whether or not that is actually what we want. And, then it comes not only with our head-consent, but with our actual hands-on, I'm going to get down and dirty in this process and join with God in making it happen consent. Just like the Jews then, and today, took out hammer and nails and started building in the natural . . . we get down on our knees, in the supernatural, and dig right along with Him. Another way of putting is . . . He puts His Finger on certain areas in our lives that need to be gotten rid of, and He supplies the Grace for these things to be gotten rid of ... but we determine whether or not we are willing for them to be gotten rid of--and actually take knife to root.

It is in the circumstances of life . . . the moments where we have choices to make as far as how we will react, respond, and see a certain situation, where the real work of the wilderness is accomplished--where our own tabernacles are built. God gives us Freedom--an absolute fundament of His Kingdom--but we must choose to use it by excercising our right to... choose... choosing the Truth over what we think we know or see . . . choosing His Ways over our flesh, choosing what is right over how we feel . . . choosing to loose our lives in order that we may gain them in Him.

And . . . choosing joy in the midst of this process that can hurt so much.

The Festival of Tabernacles is the most joyous festival the Jews have. There is a reason for that. There is no greater wonder than God living in our midst. I make my home in Him, and He makes His home in me.

But there is one thing more that I am determined to learn . . . because maybe this festival recognizes the joy of it all now . . . looking back, at what happened . . . but I want to celebrate with joy, now, in what is happening . . . the Bible is quite clear that the entire wilderness journey for the Israelites was extended because, at the time, they did not have the perspective to see what God was actually doing in their midst . . . and so they complained and wandered and became blind through unbelief. But Hebrews tells us not to be like that . . . rather we are to 'diligently seek His rest.'

Finding this rest, in the midst of the hard work of being changed into His image, comes through choosing to rejoice..for the joy of the Lord is our strength. And it is our thankfulness that prepares the way for the promise land to become reality in our lives.

So let's learn to recognize the wilderness for what it is, and diligently give ourselves over to tabernacling God into our lives. It is the only way to live . . . with Him at our center.

Our U-NITE Band's 1st Photoshoot :-)

2008-10-07T14:44:00.029+02:00

Our Band

God has done some huge things in the life of our band over the last 1.5 years, and so we thought it was about time to have a photoshoot ... capturing some of the character and flare and fun that makes us, us! Hope you enjoy the pics!

In It Together

Yes, we are all crammed into an elevator . . . at our church :-)

Mighty Josefa

Standing at the Castle Wall

Lenny Leaping

Just Cool!

Daniel and His Drums

Lenny, Tim, and Tom . . . wouldn't want to mess with them! :-)

Josefa the Singer!

Dreaming on Playing on The Castle Rock

Our Bass Players, Lisa W. and Rachel

Tim Was Born For This!

Standing in the Castle Gardens

Wow, Rachel!

Okay, so, we were just having a bit of Rough-Housing Fun!

Our Leader

Joyful Lisa R.!

In The City . .

Tom, Rachel, and Lisa W.

Tim--Our Sound Man

The Whole Crew . .

Embracing the Furnace

2008-08-11T14:10:00.004+02:00

Ironically, I have felt encouraged this morning. That is ironic, because yesterday was a day of my own personal ugliness.

You know those moments when all circumstances combine together in in an almost miraculous fashion-- all at the same time as if woven together for the sheer 'delightful' purpose of revealing and bringing out the absolute worst in you? Well, yesterday was one of those days for me. And I failed many tests--areas on which God has already been putting his finger in my life. And the feelings, at the end of it all, that I felt, were sorrow and helplessness. At such moments you realize that you can't go back and redo things, and you find yourself standing before a seeming mountain--powerlessness to actually be, well, the person you would have liked to have been-- the person you know you could be if you could only actually finally change . . . .

This morning, though, I believe that something got through to me--in me--that is, in my heart-- and what got through to me was the Truth. Looking back, I could recognize that throughout all of yesterday it was as if God was making sense of those things that He has been in the process of showing me for quite a while now--as if He was showing me a movie of . . . me, and where I fall short. And through it not only could I see what I did, and my motivations behind it, but also the kicker . . . how it affected others. It wasn't pretty.

More often than not, I think that while we may have an idea of where we fall short, we don't actually realize how it impacts others. So, we allow ourselves to continue on in our own little worlds of self-absorption. And, perhaps, it's not just that we don't know, but that we don't really want to know, how our actions affect others . . . because that would require that we let that old beast called, 'me-myself-andI' finally die.

But isn't that the very thing that Jesus calls us to do? To take up our crosses, daily, and deny ourselves? To nail the passions and desires of our flesh to the cross? It is often so easy to talk about it, to read about it, and to even think that we are doing it . . . until we ask ourselves the hard questions . . . am I being patient? Am I being kind? Is it really true that I am not jealous, that I do not brag or that I am not arrogant . . . that I don't act unbecomingly and take into account a wrong suffered? Do I really not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rather in the truth (even when that means I don't get my own way)? Do I really bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things? In other words, do I really love?

I don't want to fear the real answer to these questions. Instead I want to embrace the Truth that serves as a furnace for my soul . . . .

Why, in fact, do we so often fear such truth, in all its fullness--from what we did, to how it affected others, to the fact that love was just really lacking? Is it because the truth hurts? Is it because it means we have to change? Well, both are true . . . the truth hurts and it brings us to a point of having to make a decision . . to embrace our own ugliness and change, or not . . . But the Truth makes us free! And so embracing the furnace of conviction should be an absolute joy (even as it stings :-)! Because the furnace is set-up for our good! It is His mercy, for it leads us to repentance, which leads us somewhere even better . . straight into His Kingdom!

'Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand . . .'

And it is there, in His Kingdom, that I find myself being changed as I look upon His Glory . . . so if my own admission and acknowledgement of the truth, and willingness to repent, leads me to Him, where I am therefore changed .. . actually becoming the person that I not only want to be, but am really called to be, then bring it on! I rejoice in being able to humble myself. For what, afterall, do I have to lose? My own ugliness! Well, great, because I know that we can all say 'amen' to that! :-)

So let's be encouraged, when we find ourselves in the furnace . . . it is, afterall, evidence of His love!

Saturday Night Church--A Step Towards the Future

2008-06-06T11:46:00.012+02:00

On May 24th our U-NITE band was invited to play for another youth group in the area called SNC, or Saturday Night Church (Pics also below). This, for us, was really an incredible opportunity to 'stretch our wings,' so-to-speak, as, after about 10 years of being in existence, this youth group has grown to about 300 young people.

So, it was definitely the largest crowd that we have played for yet. And it was amazing! By the end of the evening, many youth came up to the front and we basically rocked the house for God! Afterwards, we heard from, well, everyone we talked to that we were the best band they have had in a long time--and even asked us if we had CD's! Obviously, this is no competition for us . . . we were incredibly encouraged, however, and rejoiced in the fact that everyone really felt free to enter into God's presence, and that with His help, we were able to play at a level of excellence that added to the worship experience rather than taking away from it. And of course we are hoping that this is just the beginning for us to be able to serve not only other ministries in the area, but also the city of Nürnberg and beyond.

In addition . . . our playing at SNC has begun to open some incredible doors! For months and months Lenny, my co-leader, and I, have been praying for some strategic connections to be made other youth leaders in the area. We want to build relationships with them in order to promote unity among our groups as well as to see how God would use us to jointly put city-wide outreaches on together.

To meet these people, our intention really was to, well, do what we had already begun to do, which was to begin to attend other youth group and campus meetings and see what God would do. Well, what He has begun is mind-blowing!

Through playing at SNC, a youth group leader from another church in the city approached Lenny, saying that he and his wife had been wanting to make connections with other leaders . . . (sound familiar?). Lenny then invited this man, Matthias, and his wife who was not there, Christin, to a prayer meeting held for the different youth groups in the area on the following week. So, several days later, which happened to be the day of the prayer meeting, Lenny, who was in a part of town that he is not normally in, in a bit of a rush, decided that he would place one newly printed U-NITE flyer on a random car that he saw parked nearby.

Thinking no more about it, well, he attended the prayer meeting that evening (I was out of town)--and although there were much fewer people than expected, Matthias and Christin were also there, as well as Konstantine, yet another leader for a ministry in the area. They all hit if off and something definitely seemed to be stirring.

All of these connections culminated, however, on the next evening when we our U-NITE. To our suprise, Matthias and Christin came with number of youth from their own group. And you know what Christin told us . . . one of the reasons that they ended up attending that evening was only due to their having met Lenny at SNC and the prayer meeting, but because she had found a U-NITE flyer on her car and was intrigued-----the same ONE flyer that Lenny had quickly and randomly left on some windshield in an area of town that he does not normally frequent! Of all of the cars in the city, only God could have organized that!

So, it is clear to us that God has begun something that I don't even think we can imagine how big it will become. Last week Matthias and Christin and Lenny and two others and I met at an Italian ice cream parlor to talk about our visions and the future. At the end, we found an empy parkbench nearby and prayed together. One guy prayed something that reflected how we were all feeling in that moment . . . 'thank you Lord, for you know that it seems as if we have already known each other for years . . .' There was no doubt for any of us that His hand is in the whole thing . ..

And so please be praying with us and for us as we begin to take the next steps towards the future. Next week on Tuesday evening we will meet, along with Konstantine, in order to talk about putting together an outreach at the end of July. Please pray that God leads us, shows us what is on His heart, and opens the doors for us as we continue to walk towards . . . Him!

Thanks for making this all possible! (pics below)

(students pinning up their definitions of 'love')

The Guest Speaker from the Jesus Freaks' Church powerfully sharing on Love

(Youth praising God in front of the stage as we came to towards the end of the evening)

Me?

2008-06-05T15:57:00.008+02:00

The guest speaker's analogy at a recent outreach on campus that I attended was powerful--one which immediately brought a living, tangible scene to the vor of my imagination . . . 'When you walk into a crowd, there is one who sees . . . . only you.' Maybe no one else notices, maybe no one else really sees. Maybe to you, it feels as if everyone else is focusing on everyone else with the major exception of . . . you. Maybe, even, your greatest fear seems to have come to life in this crowd . . . overlooked, irgnored, dismissed, ostracized. And maybe, what you sense and feel is actually true. But it isn't the Truth. Because He isn't 'everyone else.' And He is there. And while 'everyone else' may not recognize you . . . He does.

Nor is it a wait and see kind of thing. 'If I look the right way, or do this certain thing, or hide this fault . . . then maybe I will eventually gain his attention.' No. Rather it's an instantaneous 'no credentials necessary' gig. You walk in the room and the very atmosphere changes with that something about you that makes you, you . . . making you in fact, 'un-unnoticeable' for Him. Having nothing to do with whether or not He wants to notice you (although He does), or whether or not He is willing to notice you (which He is), or whether or not it fits appropriately into the situation at that time to notice you (more often than not His understanding of appropriateness is not ours). . . no . . . He just can't not notice you. It's impossible. Afterall, He's the one who created you--created you in such a way as to move---Him. You are His dream come true.

This is a theme I would have had to be both blind and deaf to have missed over the past few weeks, coming from both Christian and non-Christian sources. In fact, sitting here writing this, I feel somehow flooded with scenes and images and words--remembering just how often it is lately that I have been anywhere from pricked to literally moved in my spirit by this truth--and the different facets of this truth . . .

No Matter who everyone else is . . . I have rather suprised myself over the last months through a growing interest in watching the hit show, Germany's Next Topmodel--a show that many of you will recognize as being a sister program to America's Next Topmodel. Every Thursday night, I along with one of the girls in our group, have cozied up on my couch to watch the next intriguing episode. And, each time, I have felt God speaking to me and moving my heart for the women of Germany . . .

But nothing moved me more than the Decision Time at the end of one particular episode. After weeks and weeks of giving everything they had, now coming down to the last five girls in the competition, it was time for the girls to go before the jury and hear if they had made it one step further into the next-to-last round.

There was one girl in particular that I had on my heart. In the beginning of the season she had been shy. Unsure. Doe-eyed and quiet and completely unaware of her own worth. And at the end of every episode the jury would end up at the same conclusion, 'we believe in you, but you don't . . . that must change, or else . . .' And so the season went on, and finally she began to learn how to see herself differently, how to fight, how to unearth the potential and worth inside of her . . . and her resume began to show it as she began to get job after job . . . so much so that the other girls remaining in the competition had begun to trash talk her--she had risen to threat status for them.

And so on this evening, this shy doe-eyed girl stood before the jury once again. On one hand she had clearly reached a new level, however the question remained . . . would it be enough to move on?

I don't think I could ever forget what Peyman, potentially the toughest jury member in the group, said to her as she stood there, for the first time noticeably confident and truly at home in her own skin . . . 'Christina, in the beginning, no one could remember your name. You would enter a room or try out for a job, and of all the girls, you were the one who everyone, at the end, kept asking, 'and who was that one again, we just can't remember . . .? But now look at you. You know who you are and everyone else knows it too. You are Christina.'

The next scene was Christina entering the dressing room where the other girls waited, and with tears in her eyes and arms held high she proclaimed, 'I know who I am, I am Christina.'

The impact of this moment for me was stunning--it took my breath away. It was just so . . Biblical . . . so like Jesus. Having nothing to do with the worldy motto of 'believe in yourself,' what struck my heart was the obvious impact of having someone look you directly in your face and tell you, correctly, exactly who you are . . . of having someone say your name . . . it is more powerful than anything, I believe, we could ever do for ourselves to prove our own identity to ourselves . . .

. . . because who we are, ie. who we were created to be . . . is something that is meant to be told to us--given to us--not something that we were meant in and of and out of ourselves to create. And I believe that there is nothing that pleases our Lord more than seeing us not only accepting who He has created us to be, but beginning to live it. And we can only do that when we know that He knows our name . . . that He sees us, completely apart from everyone else.

You are the only you that there will ever be. Irreplaceable. Incredible. Beloved. So the next time you feel this horrible black-hole'ish question rising up in you . . . 'Me?,' Jesus is standing there nodding His head, answering, 'Yes, you . . .'

No matter who you think you are . . . but the Me? question is so often still muddied with our own human frailties and false understandings of who we are and what makes us valueable.

Often it's the inability to own ourselves for who we really are that makes the Me? question unanswerable . . . not having a clue at all about who we are, we flail around, making this up or leaving that blank when it comes to our own identity . . . somehow squirming our way out of saying the 'I' or 'me' words and really meaning them . . .

Which is one reason why one of my favorite things about the German language is the use of the word, 'you.' Often, when calling someone on the phone or simply talking with someone in the midst of a conversation, one person will say to the other, 'hey, you, . . .' (hey, du),--not as some sort of impersonal 'you' in the way we would often use it, meaning, whoever you are out there in the void, you really aren't important to me, but,.... rather their use of 'you' is a far more personal, even intimate, well, exclamation point! It is a way of bringing 'you' to the forefront, saying, it is you that I wanted to talk with and this is something that I wanted to share with you . . .

. . . the very same you that Jesus notices in the crowd and wants to be around . . .

No matter what you look like . . . And yet even when we accept, at least at some level, 'Me,' we continue to still struggle with the value of Me. Our looks for instance. Oh that we would see ourselves as God sees us--and yes, even physically. I believe that if every person in the world would truly accept how God created them to be . . and would stop fighting it . . . each person in their own way would be the most beautiful person on earth.

But we waste time letting this get in the way of our seeing the One who stands in the crowd and sees only us . . . because we doubt His perception of us when He does see us . . .

One line from a song I have heard from Delerious recently speaks directly to this . . . ' . . . Nip and Tuck' if you have the bucks, there are ways to find a cure. Psalm 139 is the conscience to our selfish crime. God didn't screw up when He made you. He's a Father who loves to parade you . . . Our God Reigns . . . .'

No matter what you have done . . . Even if, for some, the Me? question does not revolve around looks, . . . how often do we mix up what we have done with who we were meant to be--and thus how God sees us?

At least twice now in the last few weeks I have heard different speakers mention Zacchaues, the little man who, of anyone, seemed to be less than deserving of Jesus' attention . . . so short he had to climb a tree to see Jesus pass by, so sinful that he made himself, his character, even smaller. Here was a man who literally no one liked. He was for, everyone, a 'notorious sinner.' A person to be avoided at all costs. But Jesus . . .

. . . Jesus saw him, up in that tree. Jesus looked past the fruit of his life and saw into his heart. And Jesus responded with certainty . . . He did not say, 'hey you, what's your name? Yeah, well, mmm, I think I am to spend a little time with you, in like, you know, your house, but to be honest I'm not yet all that sure about it, so yeah, ummm, let me go and first pray about it, and then I'll let you know tomorrow.' . . .

No! Jesus looked Zacchaues directly in the eyes, having known from the beginning of time that he would be there that day, hanging on that tree--a sinner and outcast in the eyes of the rest of the world--and He said with total assurance and love and confidence and unwaivering conviction, 'Zacchaues! Quick, come down! I must be a guest at your home today. . . '

And this is the 'must' that we all must hear echoing in our spirits and in our hearts . . . because it is a must that has to do with us . . . can't you hear Him, can't you hear Him saying, '. . . I must see you in the crowd, I must recognize you, I must know your name, I must be with you . . . ' His must is fueled and propelled by the pure and endless love that He has for each one of us.

And it is in and through His must, therefore, that we are changed. Jesus sees us before we become who He knows He created us to be. And it's in meeting Him there, that we are, indeed, changed . . . no matter who everyone else is and what they think about who we are, no matter what we look like or what we have done . . . no matter what we think about ourselves, in His Presence all of these 'no matters' fall away from the only thing that does matter . . . Jesus loving us, seeing us, and saying . . . 'Yes, at last, it is You . . . for I have been waiting . . . '

Introducing . . . Doro

2008-05-13T17:12:00.005+02:00

It's been on my heart for a while to start introducing you to the members of our group, or in some cases, those who are new to our group whom we are believing for ... just so you can get an even greater sense of how God is working here ... what exactly, He is doing . . .

For instance, meet Doro. She is a high schooler who, having grown up in an extremely dysfunctional and religious family, left home and ended up living with three abusive male roommates. Her primary circle of friends over the last years have been Satanic worshippers. And I have never seen her wear anything except for gothic clothing . . all black from head to toe.

I will never forget, though, the first day I saw her. She came to church with a friend of hers and her boyfriend . . . and being a small church, well, it was very noticeable to see her trudging in her large black boots up the aisle to the very back of the room where they sat. She experienced worship for the first time. And then as Lenny Konschewitz, my co-leader for our campus and youth and ministry, began to preach, tears began to run down her face. The ran and ran, I think, throughout the entire service. What did Lenny talk about that so profoundly touched her? Jesus' finished work on the cross . . . His Grace. She had never heard about Grace before.

God touched her so deeply that day, that she and her friend immediately signed up to join us on our C4 (College and Career) weekend retreat the following weekend . . .a HUGE step for newcomers--especially here in Germany. Then, by the end of the weekend she told me that she had been so touched by Lenny's message earlier, and also by the weekend's worship, that she knew that our church was her church.

Since that time, she has begun to regularly attend a weekly foundational Bible Study that one of our guys, Kevin, leads. And from what I hear, she asks questions non-stop. She is absolutely hungry.

Over the weeks, I have thankfully also had some opportunities to get to know her. Once she told me that she is absolutely amazed by the kindness of Christians and said that she sees in us a geniune love and desire to help others--exactly what she wants to do in life--help others! I have also had a few opportunites to pray for her and each time she tells me how incredibly strong she can feel the presence of God!

He is absolutely moving in her life! Since she began coming to church, she has moved away from her abusive roommates and into a much safer situation and she has begun to bring her new boyfriend (also Gothic) along to our church and U-NITE services--even though he generally stays outside of the room during the worship and the message, he still comes and is willing to meet and talk with us afterwards.

What a miracle! We are so so thankful for this girl whom God has sent to us. We want to love her with Christ's love and trust that He will continue to reveal Himself to her, to heal her broken heart, and to restore all things new to her as she becomes a new creation. Please pray along with us for her as she makes progress towards stepping into the Kingdom. Please pray that as we that she will also feel safe and comfortable enough to attend our girl's group (often an intimidating thought in this culture) so she can really begin to get grounded in her relationships here. And also pray for her boyfirend as well as her other friends, that God's love poured out in her will overflow to them and produce a harvest much greater than we can imagine.

Introducing Stefan (Tux) Piegsa

2008-05-13T17:00:00.008+02:00

Stefan, or Tux, Grinning for the Camera

Tux Sharing His Testimony at U-NITE

Stefan, lovingly called Tux within our group, has got to be one of the most interesting people you will ever meet! To start off with, he's a genius. It's not every day that you come across a young man who has invented a device within his car that heats up the windschield fluid during the winter so it's more effective ... nor a guy who has created his own type of speedometer that clicks just so it sounds and looks like the NightRider's car . .. in fact, we are all certain that within only a few years he will be, at least, a millionaire.

And for being such a technical person, he is suprisingly, well, outgoing. If you ask him, he would say he isn't, but he doesn't see himself as he literally shines Jesus to others. He doesn't hear how his words to others--always encouraging and uplifting, drip like honey and reflect God's very nature . . . communicating the truth that He is for us and not against us.

This combination, plus his willingness to serve, in addition to an incredible testimony, thus made him the perfect prime candidate to be our speaker for our March U-NITE. He had people practically rolling on the floor laughing over the crazy things he did in High School, and he moved them deeply through sharing how he humbled himself and turned to God . . . .

But rather than writing all of this myself, I asked Tux to share a little bit . .. first about his testimony, and secondly, about how U-NITE has impacted his life . . .

So here is what he had to say . . .

Tux's Testimony . . .

My name is Stefan and I grew up in the former German Democratic Republic where religion was considered something bad and thus I was not raised in a christian household. When I was 10 years old, after the reunification, we moved to a town near Nuremberg. My dad told me that I have always been different and always did what I liked and so with the years passing by I became more and more rebellious, especially towards my dad, my teachers and everybody who was not for me. During the years, I got more negative remarks in my school file for all my evil deeds than anybody else but nothing happened to me and thus I started to feel more and more like a god. In the beginning of the 10th form, the class' Christian (Lenny), even though he was very popular among the others, did not find somebody to sit next to him and so went to sit next to me and a friend of mine. Of course I did not like that at first. During that year, my negative feelings for him started to decline when we found out by accident, that our grandparents lived very close together at the other end of Germany. It also turned out, that my long-term friend who also sat next to me was also a Christian. As they told me later, they started to fast and pray for me.

On the one hand Il iked their presence but on the other hand my pride and rebellion and the thinking that I was a god became worse. At one occasion I even proclaimed this in front of my class and my teacher - they all were shocked. In this moment I felt inwardly that I had gone too far.I also stole some chemicals from school and proudly told my two christian classmates about it but they rebuked me, telling me that Ihad done a bad thing in the eyes of God. Even though these were just human words, I felt so much authority in what they said and I just knew that they were right and started to fear for what I did, so I returned the things I stole. I even began to believe in their God, but I felt so guilty that I did not dare to pray. As so often, some pressure solved this problem: Once again I faced a situation near the end of the school term with two negative grades which would mean I could fail. The teacher did not want to give me a chance to improve my grade because I had bothered and disturbed her during the entire term. And so I knew that the only hope was the God of these two Christians and the pressure was so big that I overcame my feelings of guilt and prayed to him. When I asked the teacher again for a solution in my situation she suddenly gave me a second chance and I was able to get rid of the negative grade and passed the year. Some time later, when I was spending some time with these two christian friends, who in the meantime had become my closest friends, one of them asked me whether I had ever given my live to Jesus. I didn't know what this meant, "giving ones life to Jesus". So we prayed together and on this day the worst school rebel got saved! Praise the LORD. My behavior in school changed immediately and I started to love people that I had formerly cursed and slandered.

What Tux Had To Say About U-NITE . . .

I have been in the Every Nation Nuremberg church right from the beginning. Together with the pastor's children and one or two others, we were the only young adults at that time.When the first plans on a U-NITE came up, I didn't know how much that would change both the church and my own life. Before I became a Christian and also during the first years after, I had been a loner.I lived in my own little world, liked to do things alone, and to be independent of others. It was difficult for me to face the sufferings and problems of others or to just do something on a team. I liked things to be exactly my way with a maximum of control. When I was around people I surrounded myself with older persons most of the time because in my pride I didn't want to see me on the same level with people of my age. So I didn't like to be part of the U-NITE team at the beginning. I did actually think about withdrawing from everythingthat had to do with U-NITE and young adults.

But somehow I eventually remained there, praise God, and U-NITE has totally changed my life during a pretty short time: For the first time I really encountered people from absolutely different backgrounds, some with really tragic or hard pasts and for the first time I began to really love those people that were so different than me. I realized how much of God's grace had always been with me and that I could do my part to be a blessing in other peoples' lives. Moreover for the first time I began to be part of a team, the U-NITEteam, a group of very precious and unique people. I learned to do things jointly with others and esteem their work and to submit to others. And I more and more realize that it is God who has things under control and not me. I have seen Him work the most unbelievable things and change lives, including my own, and that during quite a short time. U-NITE has become a place where faith can become practical!

Choosing Our Battles--insecurity

2008-04-23T15:03:00.009+02:00

2 Chronicles 20:17

You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.

Have you ever felt like this cat--trying its best to scoot by its perceived enemies as quickly and unnoticeably as possible?

For me, this is a very familiar feeling . . . in fact one that I have struggled with all of my life. We, each of us, get tagged by the enemy right from the beginning of our lives with a battle plan custom-made just for us. For many of us, this battle has something to do with insecurity.

I can say with certainty that my enttire life has seemed like a struggle against a dark force or cloud that has simply hung over me . . once in a while spraying me with lies and circumstances that only bolster its right to hang over my head--because I have believed it. When I have attempted to disagree it, out of my own strength, well, my efforts have been about as effective as shooting arrows through a cloud . . just never made that much of a difference.

But God, in His Grace, has come to rescue me, to fight this battle for me, as I have allowed Him to do so. . . by ripping my own personal cloud apart at the seams and rooting its affects out of my heart and mind . . . It has been and continues to be a very slow and purposeful process--a one-step-at-a-time journey towards healing and freedom.

A journey that generally comes in the context of seasons . .. . at first I see bad fruit in my life, in my relationships, and then I begin to receive intense revelation over the subject . . . showing me why. Then, finally a breakthrough comes and I experience a wonderful new sense of freedom. For a while . . . until the whole cycle begins again . . .sometime later finding myself back in the same battle, only at a deeper level, and completely frustrated because it confirms that I am not totally free yet. And so once again I see the fruit, the revelation comes along with its why's, and then, finally. . . the next level of freedom.

Lately, I have found myself yet again in such a season. At first I was overwhelmed by its ugliness. God I don't want to be like this!!! And, I was hyper-aware of all of the things I was not succeeding in as a result. And, well, I was frustrated because it just didn't seem like 'the right time' to be dealing with this again. But then, when I settled into the truth that that is where God was taking me . . .He began to grace me with a whole new batch of insight . . .

So what exactly is this Insecurity? At some level or another we all know what it looks like . . . on others. But how does it work in and through us? Well, it's depending on others to define us, to approve of us, to give us in some way a sense of identity--ultimately giving others the power to determine our worth (and then we get mad at them for whatever their determination is, even though we were the ones to put them in that position in the first place!). Insecurity is also a performance mentality--saying if I just do this well enough, then they will like me, and I will be approved of! A way of thinking that bolsters us or demeans us determined by how we perceive how someone else perceives us. And, it is at one and the same time an intense lack of confidence in ourselves preventing us from ever really stepping out into the things God has called us to, as well as an intense level of pride that uses masks to show the world that we are strong enough and good enough--masks we mostly use to try and convince ourselves.

Insecurity is a battle that can never be won apart from God. I know, I have tried. Our 'solutions' never end up being solutions, at all. The masks never hold-up. Everyone knows the truth about how insecure we really are and we know that they know it. The praise of others never satisfies, it never gives us enough of what we need to say, 'there! now I am completely content with who I am!' And the criticism of others never fails to come with such well-timed accuracy and vehemence that it would seem both the devil and God are doing everything they can to hinder our attempts at creating our new brand of self-made security. . . the devil trying to convince us that we are as bad as we think we are so he can eventually kill us . . . and God trying to disrupt our every effort so that we will finally turn to Him, allow Him to hang our flesh on the cross where it belongs, and begin the process of transforming our minds to depend on Him and what He alone says about us.

As long as we refuse to turn to Him we will only descend deeper into the black hole that began as a black cloud hanging above our heads. Insecurity steals our peace, sending us on a roller coaster ride of ups and downs that knows no pause. It never provides us with a final word about who we are, and thus we are vulnerable to every whim and never grounded on anything safe or constant. And it robs us of our relationships--our unrighteous need for others sucks life from those who are closest to us. Our needs hang on them like leeches. And well, we find ourselves locked in a circle of distrust and judgement towards . . . everyone.

This has been my greatest revelation of late. Through reading an incredibly insightful book called, 'How to Stop the Pain' by Dr. James B. Richards, I realized how we trap ourselves in our own traps of insecurity through making judgements. By judgement, I am referring to the way we assign meaning to what is being said and done by others. As insecure people, we are looking to others, addictedly, to provide us with some sense of self. And so we assume what their actions and their words really mean, and we assume (in our self-centeredness) that it always has something to do with us, ie. that it says something about us.

Forgetting or even ignoring the reality that other people just aren't thinking about us nearly as much as we think they are .. . we not only assume ourselves into their world, but we assume we have the ability to actually see into their hearts to find their 'real' motivations. Only God can see into the heart. But because we are so desperate to get something from others, we tred on sacred ground and make up a 'why' for all that they say and do . . .

Recently, I had a rather humorous and profound lesson that showed me how this works in my own life. Quite untinentionally, some weeks ago, I dyed my hair blond .. . thinking it would just get a little lighter, well, it transformed into a disconcerting combination of white-blond and orange. It was on a Saturday, and not being able to get to the hairdresser that day to have it at least, toned down, well, I was forced to face the intimidating world of church. Talk about embarrassing.

Well, while there, it happened somehow just as I had expected. I was standing up front getting read to sing with our worship band when I noticed a woman who is, well, typically very real with her opinions, hiding her mouth behind her hand and laughing hysterically . . looking directly at me! I must have turned five shades of red, thinking, 'my goodness, can't she have a little mercy?' Caught up in my own judgment, I literally tried to avoid her several times that morning as she seemed to want to approach me . . I assuming she would make things worse with some comment. Finally, though, I couldn't ignore her anymore. And you know what she had to say? 'hey, I am so sorry, I just wanted you to know that I wasn't laughing at you at all . . . you were facing the other direction when we walked in and my husband had just asked me who the new person in the band was when you turned around-- and it was you! So, we just had to laugh at his mistake . . .'

Hmm . . I was so close, and yet so far, in my true understanding of why she had been laughing. The truth was, I had no clue. I had just made a judgement--against her--one that ultimately fed my own expectations of how I thought I would be perceived. And in the end, my own judgement only fed my insecurity.

Seeing this truth, though, was like finding a priceless treasure somehow... . becaue hey, if there's no way I can ever really know what someone else is thinking and why they say and do the things they do . .. unless, of course, they tell me . .then why do I need to waste my time, energy, and sense of self-worth on something I will never be able to know?! Why should I give unrightous power to well . .. in the end, not others, but my own vain imaginations about others?

Like the picture above where the cat is oh so gingerly creeping away from dogs who are clearly not trying to attack her, how often do we do the same? How often to we expend all of our energy expecting and avoiding and assuming that there's a battle that really is no battle at all--even sometimes causing one because of the offense we create by judging others--instead of focusing on the true source of our issues . . . us! Yes, people hurt us and yes, circumstances hurt us, and yes, we have a very real enemy who is seeking to steal, kill, and destroy. But way more than that we have a God on our side who sent His son to die so we can become new creations, so we can be given a new identity that says I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus, I am accepted and approved, I am a son or daughter of the living God, and He who is in me is greater than he that is in the world!

When we can become securely grounded and founded, at last, in God's truth about who we are, then we will finally become the men and women God has created us to be . .. and we will finally be at peace. Below is a quote from Rick Joyner's book, The Call that describes how things can be-- how things were meant to be-- when we decide to allow God to fight on our behalf against this enemy called insecurity . . when we learn to live and operate out of the truth of His Kingdom rather than the fallness of this world . . .

'Then I looked at the people in the city. They seemed familiar, but at the same time I knew that I had never met anyone like them. There were like I imagined Adam to be before the fall. The eyes of each shone with what seemed to be almost total comprehension, an intellectual depth far beyond even the most brillian person I had ever known. I knew this to be the result of an order an dpreace that was completely free of confusion or doubt, or maybe the confusion of doubt. There was no ambition because each one was so confident and had so much joy in who they were and what they were doing. Because everyone here was free, they were also completely open.'

Lord, free us from ourselves and the lies of this world so we can experience the security that comes from knowing who we are in You! Plant us like rightous trees, firmly rooted in the truth, so we can experience freedom and victory over this battle, at last.

Discovering Albania

2008-03-11T21:36:00.037+01:00

Men on a Beach near the Hotel

I have to be honest. Although I have travelled to quite a few places around the world in my life so far, Albania was just never a place I really thought about. So when I was invited to go there on a mission trip in connection with Lenny's job with Adidas--not only to serve there, but also to help spy out the land for ministry opportunities for our group for the future, I basically thought the following things, 'Albania? Where is that? They have ministry I can do there? Okay, I'll go . . .' That was about it.

So, when we arrived there for our 9 day trip, my mind was literally a blank slate. I had absolutely no idea as to what to expect . . . (pics below)

I think my first impression were the bunkers. Pictured below, they are round circular cement-like 'houses' scattered literally . . . everywhere. Apparently, the communist regime thought it a worthy endeavor to invest in building these crazy things 'in case' the war crossed their borders at some point. Well, they were never used, and so the amount of money that literally could have housed and fed every single family in the entirety of Albania as well as paving roads that desperately need to be paved, went into a lot of strange bumpy hard-to-remove things that dot the landscape. Sad. and True.

The next impression was, as I mentioned, the roads. Curvey. Mountainous. Extremely high up. Narrow. Ultra bumpy. 90% unpaved. Requiring super land-crossing vehicles just to travel them safely . . . . unbelievable. And I have travelled in Africa before . . .

Then we arrived to the Nehemia Foundation's Headquarters. This place is like a little heaven on earth. You wouldn't believe it. I didn't really. Talk about laying ones life down for our brothers and sisters. The leader of this organization, Arnold Geiger from Germany, moved with his family to Albania some 15 to 20 years ago. At that time, there was nothing. Except for, a few years later, a war that they refused to move away from. For how can you leave a place because of war when you say you are there to love and serve the people? So, after seeing people getting shot in front of them, having things exploded around them, and walking with the Albanians out of the war when it was over. . . the Geiger's gained influence and respect and a place to serve in the hearts of the Albanian people. And so they built something that I am astounded by.

Well first it's a compound made up of buildings--offices, a church, a house that serves both as a guest house as well as the Geiger's home, as well as a school they built to begin to lift the academic standards in the Albanian school system. They also have several offsite locations in other cities and rural towns. And what do they do? Well, they run a school. They have an entire program set-up to feed the poor. They have their hand in building projects throughout the country. They plant churches. They train leaders. And currently they are working on starting a university. In all of this, one of their greatest testimonies from my perspective is that they have Albanians working for them . . . Albanians who have been pulled out of poverty and trained and equipped, and yes, most of them brought to Christ, who not only have a vision to reach Albania, but an invested interest as they are serving their own people, their own nation. If you want to see an example of influencing the culture with the Gospel and the heart of Christ . . this is it.

Even huge organizations such as Adidas comprehend the incredible influence that the Nehemia Foundation has, and thus support them in several ways. Adidas, for example, has built a sport ground next to the school in the compound, and has created an annual Sports competition involving schools from around the region (most of them so poor they can't even afford soccer balls), in order to give hope and help to the people there.

That is, in fact, how we came into connection with Albania and the Nehemia Foundation. Since Lenny works for Adidas, specifically as the project manager for the their work with Nehemia, we were able to go and help serve them, not only through working with Adidas, but in whatever way we could--primarily in a ministry capacity. So what did we do? Well, a mixture of so many different things!

We found ourselves travelling several hours to remote villages to meet with school principles in order to organize the regional sports competition. We sat through a large board meeting of people who had travelled from all over the world in order to discuss where the Nehemia Foundation is and where it is going. We found ourselves standing on the Nehemia sports grounds sharing our testimonies with the kids during their gym hour. I even ended up teaching an English class where we discussed music and culture and even cowboys. We later taught two Bible studies in the school and then lead the youth group for Nehemia's church one evening where we prayed for each person afterwards. We ended up one day in a home in another mountain village built to house two homeless men, one found living in a cave, the other found curled up in a shack completely without heat. Now they have a roof over their heads, food, and care.

As for random experiences . . . pulling off the side of the road in order to buy plastic bags full of newly caught fish from the lake between Albania and Macedonia. Driving behind donkey's carrying massive loads of tree branches. Stray dogs literally everywhere . . . one even trying to 'attack' our car on the side of a mountain. A 'restaurant' filled with village men--young men who had no jobs and old who were shepherds-- with modern day rock music being played in the background and an ancient looking fireplace serving as the only source of heat, serving the same meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner . . . pickled sour tomatoes, zaziki like sauce, calf meat, olives, bread and turkish coffee. Salep . . . a turkish cinnamon milk drink wonder. Being invited to dinner with the pastors from Switzerland and Germany for cheese Fondue. Walking on an ancient bridge on the Via Ignatia . . . A road that Paul likely travelled to Macedonia. Awesome!

I think two of the coolest experiences I had, at the end of our trip, was being asked by Arnold Geiger--a man whom I came to deeply respect-- if I would come back, and receiving a suprise farewell gift from an Albanian girl who worked as a cook in the guest house on the compound. It somehow drove home everything that had already been touching my heart for days . .. seeing not only the poverty, but also the hope. Before my trip to Albania I, well, I really didn't even know such a place existed. Now, however, it is a real entity that has impacted me. I can see it becoming a place that we take mission trips to . . giving our students the opportunity to serve and experience. And I can also recognize that it has inspired me deeply for our own ministry here in Nürnberg . . . for the possibilities that great vision can create, for all that God really can do to touch and heal a people, and for the deep influence God's people can have to touch and transform a nation when laying down one's life for the Gospel of Jesus Christ . . . truly truly good news!

I am very grateful for this opportunity we had to go to Albania! (see pics below)

Board Meeting with Foundation Nehemia Albania

Playing with School Children on the Adidas Sport Grounds

Lenny Sharing His Testimony

We Played Basketball with the Kids Afterwards
Albanian Boys Looking On

Kids Bible Hour

Lenny and I Leading the Youth Group in Worship

One of the Girl's Translating for Me as I Shared

Lenny Praying for Some of the Group Afterwards

Me Praying For Some in the Youth Group as well

Sunday Church Service--Worship

One of the Bunkers that are Scattered Throughout Albania

Downtown Pogradec (A Town)

Our Arrival Into a Rural Village Two Hours From Pogradec

Meeting with Principle of the Local School

Kids Playing In Front of their School

Me Getting to Know a Local Horse/Donkey

Albanian Scene

Walking through a Remote Mountain Village

Albanian Woman

Village Man

A Church that is Hundreds of Years Old

Lenny Standing In front of the door to the Church

Blue Sky Against Roof

Cross Built in the Mountains by the Nehemia Foundation

View To Macedonia

Prayer Points For Every Nation Nürnberg

2008-01-22T22:41:00.001+01:00

As I mentioned in my newsletter, our group has been growing. And that means that God is giving us new responsiblities, expanding us, and causing us to go beyond ourselves--ultimately requiring us to completely rely on Him to show up. What an awesome privilege!

One that, obviously, requires much much prayer. So I thought that I would share with you some of our greatest prayer requests in order both to give you an idea of where we are heading and what we are up to, as well as to give you the opportunity to pray along with us if you feel so led. I know that we would be mightily blessed and impacted by your prayers! The prayers of a righteous man avails much, afterall! So . . .

Prayer Requests for Every Nation Nürnberg

1. January U-NITE--This coming Saturday we will be gathering for our next large U-NITE Outreach meeting. Normally we have between 50 to 60 youth from around the city, although there will be another large ministry event going on at the same time (something we did not know about beforehand, otherwise we would have tried to join somehow). Please pray that God will bless both events, that He will show up and transform hearts. That those will come to both events that He wants to be there. And also please pray for our speaker, Gareth Lowe, who recently moved to Berlin from South Africa, pray for his safety as he travels, as well as for the Holy Spirit to lead and direct him as speaks at U-NITE as well as at or church the next morning.

2. Our Guy's and Girl Groups -- With our new discipleship focus on Christ being formed in us, we have decided that instead of meeting weekly with the men and the women together, as we had been doing, that at least twice a month we will separate in order to enable us to go deeper in Him. At least to begin with, the men will be going through John Eldredge's book, 'Wild at Heart,' and the women through its counterpart, 'Captivating.' Please pray for that this season ahead of us will be fruitful, both in Christ being formed in us, as well as strenghening our relationships with one another.

3. For Hearts To Be Healed in Our Group--There are some in our group who come from very difficult backgrounds and who need significant healing in their lives. Thoughts of suicide, deep struggles with anger, psychological struggles. Please pray for supernatural healing, as well as wisdom for us as we try to discern who best to direct them to for help.

4. C4 Conference--For the last few years we have held an evangelistic conference for our youth from Innsbruck, Salzburg, a town near Vienna, Augsburg, and Nürnberg, entitled C4. This year, in March, Nürnberg will host it for the first time. We are excited about this opportunity, but we need a ton of prayer. Please pray that we find the perfect location to host this event. That our worship band can rise up to this new challenge. That we will know what is on God's heart for this conference as we choose a theme for the weekend. That God will show up and transform lives. And that those that God wants to come will come.

5. For Our Worship Team--Please pray that we will grow noticeably in our foundation for worship, our ability to truly worship from the heart, in our technical skill, our character, our unity, as well as in our capacity. Also for wisdom for us, the leadership, as we seek to build something that enables God to bring about His will for us as a group. There is a great longing among many of us to write our own songs, as well as to become something of a Hillsongs for Europe. It is a big vision, but first thing's first . .. build it in the right way from the beginning so God can direct the way. Please pray for His Grace, His Direction, and most of all, His Presence in all that we are doing.

6. Possible Mission Trip to Ukraine--We are praying about the possibility of taking our group on its first mission trip to the Ukraine, where Sergej, on our church's leadership team, has connections. It could be an amazing opportunty, but first we want to pray and ask God for His will, as well as His direction.

7. Outreach--It is on our hearts to step it up in reaching out to those around us here. We are in the midst of potentially starting an Alpha course in our church, which would also overflow into what we are doing with our youth. We have also seriously considered serving the orphans here in Nürnberg in some way. And of course, there is the outreach on the campuses and in the schools. Several of our youth have already begun to lead Bible studies in their high schools--a thing that is a huge deal here. Please pray for us for wisdom so that we will do 'what we see the Father doing--,' and that we will do it with all our hearts, serving others as He served us.

8. Summer Outreach in Nürnberg--We have it on our hearts to organize a very large summer outreach here in Nürnberg along with the other ministries here in the city. We will begin contacting and building relationships with the leaders of these ministries here in the next week or two, trusting and believing God for unity, as well as for strategic ideas on what we can do together to impact the city for Christ.

9. For Protection and Encouragement, and Growth for Us--There are a lot of challenges here spiritually. Please pray for an overcoming spirit to rise up in us. And please pray for physical and soulish and spiritual protection for us. God has given us the victory, but we are also called to be wise, to recognize how the enemy comes against us, and to resist him, in order that that victory may be enforced. Please pray for God's will to be done in this city, in the youth here, as well as in our livers personally.

Okey Dokey, well, I could go on and on but this is already more than enough. It is really a huge blessing to share with you all what is on our hearts, as well as for you to join us in prayer (as you feel led) to see God moving mountains, changing hearts, and lifting Jesus Name up above every Name in Heaven and on earth. We will see major fruit coming forth from our prayers!

Thank you so much, and God Bless!

Deanna

Images from Our Group

2008-01-22T16:20:00.000+01:00

The pictures below are some that I took for fun before U-NITE last month. We had managed to set everything up and go through the songs in no time at all, and so we all had extra time to just hang out . . . well, they hung out . . . I took the pictures :-) I think they give a good insight into some of the gifts of people that we have in our group . . .

Rachel Playing with the Guitar

Tim and Lisa joking Around

Our New Colored Lights Set-Up For the First Time at U-NITE

Birgit and Lisa Sitting in the Spotlight

Lisa Musing

Tim Investigating U-NITE Pictures

Markus Working Through A Passage

Daniel Hanging Out With The Guitar

Sister and Brother, Thea and Daniel, looking at Pictures

Thea Laughing

Chatting Together

All Want to Know

Rachel and Daniel

Ricardo Teasing Tim

Ricardo and Thea Singing Italian Songs

Lenny Preparing for Worship

Rachel Joking Around

Markus Playing the Drums

Lenny Laughing

Rachel Before It All Began

Christmas Highlights

2008-01-22T15:06:00.000+01:00

The Frauenkirche near the Christmas Market in Nürnberg

I am really grateful to God for the time He gave me during the holidays. Although I did miss my family, God really enabled me to have some very unique and delightful experiences. I had the privilege of staying with my pastors family here in Nürnberg, and well, we had so much fun (pics below)!

Even before Christmas actually started God really was . . . good. Just walking downtown amid the smell of freshly cut trees, piping hot Gluwein (hot wine), and Nürnberger Lebkuchen (kind of between a cookie and a cake) that melts in the mouth, was enough to give one the sense that God likes to bless us.

Then, when Maria, my good friend in Innsbruck, sent me a text message one day saying that she and Karla, another friend, had decided to drive up (3.5 hours) on the only day they had free (which meant they had to drive all the way back again that night) just to see me, my heart soared! We had such a special day of talking and laughing and catching up. And greatest of all, I knew that God was the instigator . . .

And then I was off to our pastors, the Konschewitz's house, where God was, well, abundantly good. It was a deep time, with lots of deep and good conversations, lots of prayer, as well as lots of playing time. We played lots and lots of wii. Played a game similar to Balderdash in German (which I won :-). Played cards (in which I most definitely did not win but was rather repeatedly tricked by Lenny and Tim who delighted in taking advantage of my gullibility :-). And of course, we made it through the entire 4th season of 24 until we were all dreaming about going on some mission with Jack Bauer.

God even met one of my deepest little heart wishes by giving me the opportunity to go skating on a lake for the first time in my life. How I managed not to have skated on a lake before this, after 15 years of competitive figure skating, I have no idea, but somehow I managed it . . . making my first time on a lake all the sweeter somehow. It was a large surface and glimmering in the sunshine, and although a bit bumpier than I am used to, it was lovely. Of course, the worry that comes to mind is that of falling through .. . and I have to admit, I wasn't feelling all that safe on the second day that we went when you could literally hear and see the cracks trailing along the surface. But, well, it didn't seem to bother anyone else and I knew that it was not a deep lake, so, one just keeps on skating!

Another first for me was on New Years. Our students and youth were all invited to the Konschewitz's where we ate and played games and watched . . .well, 24. And then at about 11:45 everyone went outside to do what, of course, everyone does . . . that is, light firecrackers. In fact, since that is not exactly our tradition on New Years, they allowed me to be the first to send a firecracker shooting into the sky . . . exploding into reds and purples and oranges. We were standing on a hill overlooking a valley that filled very quickly with exploding lights, from everyone, young and old. It was quite a sight, that is . . . until the smoke made everything opaque. Walking back to the house was somehow eery, with limited vision and the sound of popping going off everywhere. It made our return to 24 even more heart-stopping :-)

And then, after all of that fun and refreshment, God sent even more goodness. The sister, Gina, of twin dancers whom I worked with at SMU (who will visit me in two days!), a girl whom I have met only a few times, came to visit me on her way home to Nevada after a semester in France. I knew before she came that it was somehow from God, but when she came I realized what a gift it was. We connected in a very deep way and I think that God really granted us both the ability through Him to have overflowing rivers of living water that blessed each other. What a gift!

And all of those gifts combined added up not only to a great holiday, but also to getting re-stirred up for the vision at hand . . . to transform a generation, and therefore a nation, with the love of Jesus Christ. God told Abraham that He would bless him so that he would be a blessing . . . and that is what I hope and pray I will take from this great time that God granted me--blessed to be a blessing that a nation, Germany, might know Christ.

I truly hope that you too had such a delightful holiday season as I did!

On the Way to the Christkindlmarkt

Hot Bratwurst for a Cold Day

A Children's Choir Downtown

Maria and I on their Day-Long visit

Karla and I

The Three of Us

Ines on Christmas . . . Celebrated here on the 24th

Brother and Sister Konschewitz--Tim and Ines, Christmas snuggles

Lenny's Happy with His Presents!

A Special Gift for our Pastor Bärbel

Table decorated for Ines's Birthday Party--the 25th of December

Her Cake

Sergej from our Leadership Team and his son Dennis at Ines' B-Day Party

Sergej's wife, Ludmilla, and baby Sophi Marie

Their daughter, Karolin

Dennis, a gift musician and leader of a Bible Study in His School

This is what Tim Looks Like when He's Trying to Trick Me at Cards

This is what Lenny looks like when He Wins a Wii Game :-)

Me Surprised By the Picture

Good Ol' Jack Bauer Who Was so Kind as To Join Us For the Holidays

German version of Balderdash

Concocting Definitions for Words in German I Do Not Know

Gina in My Living Room

Us Together

In Front of the Train StationHer Train Has Arrived

Adventures in Nürnberg . . .

2007-10-23T15:37:00.000+02:00

View of Nürnberg in the Fall

As I have mentioned in both of my last newsletters, God is pouring down adventures right and left. In fact, life has been so busy, hopping from one adventure to the next, that it's impossible to share them all in just one or two newsletters (not to mention making things more difficult to find the necessary time to really sit down and write to you all!). Thus the point of this blog--to let you know even more about what all has been going on, as well as to share some pics below! :-)

So, here's the scoop!

I know I shared with you several months ago that as of September our ministry here was coming into a bit of a transition, as our campus leader, Lenny, was leaving for London for the semester, and thus I would be taking over his responsbilities for the time that he is away.

What I did not know for sure at the time, however, was all that it would entail, ie. that I would not only be leading our youth group, but that I would become the worship leader for the church, as well--a definite first-time in my life kind of adventure for me! So, what does all of that look like? . . .

Well, in regards to our youth group, what can I say? I love it! My first goal when coming into this new leadership role was to build on the relationships that had already begun between myself and those in our group. My hope was that there would really be a deep level of trust and comradeship that would develop, so that however the Lord wants to use me in their lives would be able to come to full fruition. Well, that hope has been answered, and then some! God has opened some amazing doors with those in our group--we've really had some quality time and conversations together. And just when I've thought, oh dear, this could be challenging, I have been utterly blown away by the character displayed by the men and women I get to work with everyday.

Practically speaking, I see pretty much everyone scattered throughout the week, whether it's to meet and talk in my apartment or for coffee somewhere, or at prayer on Friday nights, or for fun on Saturday, or at church and our youth group meeting in the evenings on Sunday. We also have a very constant flow of emails and communication through our u-nite staff googlegroup--an email set-up so that we can send emails out to everyone in the group. Sunday, then, is our big day, in which usually I, and sometimes the other leaders in our church, teach on a subject that God has put on our hearts. God always does something great there! We take a lot of time to pray for each others needs and God always shows up in the message. In fact, this past Sunday a guy who has been coming around our group for a while gave his life to the Lord! Yeah God!

If God lays it on your hearts to pray for us, please pray that we continue to grow in unity--that our love for one another increases daily. Also please pray that the foundation we are building now grows ever stronger, giving room for our group to not only grow, but explode as we seek to reach the youth of this city and this nation with the Gospel of Jesus Christ!

As far as leading worship--wow, I love it and I have been challenged by it and I am so very thankful for it! God, I believe, has been using this most of all in terms of training me on the ins and outs of the German culture, as well as working on my own leadership skills--not to mention deepening our dependance on God and our foundation in Him for the group as a whole. How so?

Well, to begin with, I always believed I couldn't sing! Increasingly more and more I have broken out of that belief and have taken steps through being a part of the worship teams both in Innsbruck and in Nürnberg. Suddenly, however, I have found myself leading a whole band and a whole church into worship. . . through singing! The subject of worship for me is not new, but when it comes not only to learning how to train an untrained voice (my own, not to mention others') but to choose to be secure in leading through singing, as well (because, as I have come to learn, it is a choice indeed), I have found that I am on a very steep learning curve. (Thank you Thea for my voice lessons!)

Ontop of that, it's learning how to pick the songs for each Sunday. How best to organize our worship practices and how to provide our team with all of the supplies that they could need, from sheets of music to cd samples of what we will be singing, to . . . etc. Plus, it's learning the art of directing not only the guitar and the drums and the bass and the singers to all blend together to create one song (instead of four or five different versions of the same song, all played at the same time!), it's also leading and working with the personalities behind those instruments and voices, as well! :-)

And, the biggest challenge, which is yielding the biggest reward of all, is that Lenny and I both felt led to transition what we were doing previously, in terms of working with a band, into soemthing much bigger . . . creating a worship ministry. That way, everything we are doing now is laying a foundation for something much larger in the future . . . whether it be training on what worship means, to teaching on the character required for a worshipper, to honing technical skills, we are working towards being in a position someday to train and release, train and release, train and release worshippers that will have a massive impact all over this nation and the continent. Talk about God raining down an adventure . . . .

I think the thing that has me the most excited is to see how God encourages us and me personally with each step forward that we take. Each time we play, each time we meet together for worship practice, and even each time a new challenge arises, it's as if I feel God's hand on our back pushing us one step closer to Him and closer to all that He has in store for us. There is a tangible difference with each step we take--technically, relationally, and most importantly, spiritually. And that is an awesome thing to experience!

So, with the youth group and the worship team, including being a part of the leadership team for the church. God is doing a lot right now. And my expectation is, it will only become more in the future.

For now, though, it's taking one step at a time, building one brick upon the other, taking one step in front of the other. This weekend everything will culminate with our monthly outreach, U-NITE, where the efforts of our youth group and our worship ministry and all of the leadership of our church and our youth group will join forces to touch the heart of this nation . . . it's youth. Please pray with this weekend--for God to move mountains in peoples lives, to touch and transform hearts, and to start a fire for Him that cannot be quenched!

Thank you for being such a necessary and wonderful part of all of this! Love, Deanna (picures below)

C4 Leadership Retreat--band from England
Some of our Group at Dinner at C4

Music Workshop at C4

Me Leading the Ministry Time at C4

View of C4 Saturday Night Meeting from Outside

Playing Balderdash in German (which I won--how I have no idea!)

at Lenny's during a weekend that he was in town

Daniel taking stretching-pause during the game

Preparations for our Pastor Bärbel's Recent Birthday Party

All of the Cakes . . .

Pastor Bärbel's beautifully shocked face when she realizes her suprise Gift

Downtown Nürnberg

The River Runs Through

Autumn Walkway in town

Children at Play

On My Walk Into Town

Crossing Bridges

Ramblings on What it means to Play

2007-10-08T21:42:00.000+02:00

Recently I remembered what it's like to play. Or maybe it's more that I remembered why it is that I like to play so much. Wandering my way through a nearby park, drinking in the sweetness of Autumn, I came around a bend and saw something that--hurt. It wasn't a pain-kind of hurt. More like a sting-hurt, a memory sting.

Suddenly, through the image of a couple of children at play beneath a tree, I found myself once again in the backyard of our old rented Victorian house on Maple Street in Upstate New York. My brother and I, after having dutifully followed orders to rake masses of leaves into several very large piles, were leaping from a high ledge directly into seas of red and orange and gold and brown. I can still hear our laughter. I can still remember the joy--pure. The freedom--limitless. Life without worry or care. Then, it was about being in the moment. Just that one moment. And it was about flying. Afterall, we knew that something was going to catch us.

My gosh, I think I'd forgotten those moments . . . some of the richest in my life. Not because they radically changed who I am . . .

. . . . but then again, maybe they did. Often we think our memories of significant events or those times when we made life-altering decisions as those that shaped us the most. But what about the happiness? What about those 'Augenblick' experiences, as we say in German, or, directly translated, 'eye view' moments, that define what bliss really means? Those moments, that, like a photograph showing us what green really looks like, give us a taste of something that's pure and that's more. Sure, it's not heaven's bliss . . . but it's a glimpse . . . meant to be treasured in our hearts all the days of our lives until the day comes when we can really savor the greatest joy of all--being with Him. When our palett is whetted, we want more. And that wanting is God's gift to us . . . it's leads us to seek in order to find . . .

. . . and it's a gift that isn't meant to be lost. Yes, we grow up and suddenly we see that life isn't as easy as we thought. It comes with challenges and cares and hard things happen that we don't understand. And we feel ourselves suddenly so very responsible--for others, for ourselves. But I just don't think this journey of life is meant to be taken with increasing suitcases in tow. By that I don't mean that we don't accept our responsbilities and become mature. We are supposed to grow up. But we are also supposed to remain as a child, to approach our Lord as a dependant--trusting, free . . . . able to let go, seeking the peace and the joy we know is there to be found.

I think that's why I love worship so much. If there is one teacher that should lead us in this art of diligently seeking His rest (Hebrews 4), is it not to be found in this very act of offer and surrender? Is it not in this place that we discover our real God and through Him, our real selves . . . . that happy carefree child that we were so long ago? Afterall, it is when we are our most trusting that we become our truest self.

This is something I have been trying to hold on to over the last month. Even to rediscover. When our campus leader, Lenny, left to study in London for the semester, I not only suddenly became the leader of our youth group for the time that he is away, I also suddenly became the worship leader for the church. And, while I can look back over my life and see the hand of God preparing me for this . . . it still came as a bit of a surprise . . .

One that has brought along some challenges that I have never faced before. Or better said, maybe they are not all totally new, but they are certainly coming from a new angle and a higher level. They are causing me to seek God, make decisions, set my face like flint and constantly decide to fight the fights all the way through. To realize capabilities I didn't know were there as well as stepping into the new responsibilties that come with it . . . to become, at the end of the day, . . . a grown up.

And yet the more I must grow up the more I must seek to remain a child--no, more--to enter back into childhood. To find the child that is in me and help those on our worship team and then those in our service to find their child-self as well. Sound too new agey? No. The ideas and concepts the enemy uses are only things that have been stolen and twisted from what is Truth. The devil is no creator. Only God.

And Jesus Himself tells us to come to Him as a child--to lift our hands up to Him in total passionate surrender, to run towards Him as if there were nothing at all else in the world worth purusing, and then to leap the biggest leap in the world . . . . . for He has promised to catch us.

Oh, what joy--we really do get to go outside and play!

Wedding in A Castle Church--Innsbruck

2007-10-03T20:20:00.001+02:00

An Amazing Day

You may remember that last September we had a wedding between two of our students in our ministry in Innsbruck. Well, almost exactly one year later, I found myself at yet another wedding in Innsbruck. This time, Julia and Manuel were united . . . and it was an absolutely gorgeous, dreamy day! The two were so happy, glowing, actually, that had they married in a cavern rather than their castle church standing on a hill . . . it would have made no difference for us or them! They brought enough light to the day, as you can see below . . .

Manuel and Julia at their government wedding ceremony the day before their church wedding (required by law)

Happy Bride

There are Bonuses to Having to Have Two Weddings Ceremonies . . . :-)

The Night Before the Wedding . . . Worship Team Practicing

The Tables Have Been Set-up

Decoration Team Hard at Work

The Morning of the Big Day . . .Sabine, Tom, and Manuel

Julia Stuns Everyone as She Appears

She and Her Father Enter the Church

Joy

Taking Their Vows

Lighting Their Candle

Herr und Frau Manuel Wagner

Coming Out as One

Greeting Guests

Maria and I sitting on the Castle Wall

Maria and Karla . .. Julia's old Roommates
Fun at the Reception

Tom and Karla Performing a Song they Wrote a song for the couple

Friends and Family Gathered to Celebrate

Our Church's Week Away in Austria . . .

2007-10-03T18:09:00.000+02:00

The House We Stayed in During our Week in Austria

As I wrote in my most recent newsletter, our week away as a church family at the end of August was an incredibly uplifting time. We --around 40 people + 2 dogs :-) had so much fun just being together, building relationships, and and having adventures, that I thought it would be worthwhile to share even more pictures with you. What would take me ages to describe will be far more thoroughly communicated through pics. Sooooo, here goes . . .

The Entrance to our House

Elmar and Nadia--a couple in our church

Setting Up for Breakfast

The Day's Kitchen Team Preparing for the Evening Meal

Arriving Early for Dinner

Evening Meeting to Discuss Vision for our Church and our Youth Group

Hanging Out After Dinner

Our Guys Preparing to be Wild at Heart

The Games We Played . . .

And More Games We Played . . .

The Things We Saw (Pastor Harald)

The Shoes We Wore (Austrians always remove their shoes inside . . .)

Alex has the Biggest Carrot in the World . . .

Ralph Napping in the Shade

Pastor Bärbel having a Moment with Daughter Ines

The Mighty Match of Chess (which I won . . . well, sort of . . I had a bit of help .. .)

Anna, Lisa and I Laying out in the Sun

Lisa and little Sarah

Our House and its Hills

The Valley Below

Nearby Farm Field

A Hike in the Woods

Ontop of a Mountain With a Bear, Three Little Goldilocks, and who is that . . . ?

Lisa and Tim Made it To the Top!

A Hike on a Mountain

The Majesty of it All . . .

Pictures from My Time in the States

2007-10-03T17:00:00.000+02:00

Me with my lovely little 2nd cousin, Skye

I still cannot believe that it is not October! October . . . how in the world did that happen?!? It seems that I got back to Germany and began racing from one event to another. But still, somehwere in my head, has been the desire to share pics from my time in the States with you. It was really such a gift from the Lord to spend time with my family and friends and partners, and well, it's always great to show you all who my family is. Afterall, I am proud of them and miss them so! Soooo, here they are . . .

Good Friends during a wee party

My Uncle Alan with his grandaughter Skye Drawing with Chalk

Skye

Antares--my little second cousin

My Family 'Puzzling' Together

Family Meal with my Papa, Aunts, Uncle, Cousin, and 2nd Cousins

Never Too Big to sit on Dad's Lap

Leo Michael (my nephew) and his new teacher

Emma, my niece, and her 1st Day of School

Visiting my Friends the Diefendorf's and their Horde of Boys in Kansas City

With Mom

With Grammy

With Dad

Time to Say Goodbye Once Again at the Airport

Life in Nürnberg!

2007-07-14T22:23:00.000+02:00

Pastors praying and sending me out from Innsbruck

It occurred to me recently . . . as I was preparing to come back to the States for several weeks--part of which included gathering pictures and updates to be able to share with family, friends, and partners what my new life in Germany is like . . . that, well, I wonder if anyone really knows and experiences the fact that I am indeed, in Nürnberg now. Of course, when I say 'knows and experiences' I do not mean that you are right there with me, walking the streets and meeting the people--although that would be amazing! However, I consider it not only my job and my goal, but my desire, to enable you to feel as much a part of the things that are going on in Germany as possible. Otherwise, how can I accurately testify to all that God is doing there?!?

So, now that my 'wilderness season' in terms of limited-to-no-internet-access is over, and even though I am now back in Dallas and will have the joy of sharing with many of you in person in the coming days . . . well, I simply cannot wait any longer! Thus, this blog! Of course much much more will come in regards to Nürnberg overtime, but I thought I could at least write a few impressions that I have right now and share some pictures . . . . all leading to the fact that I am indeed living in Nürnberg and loving it!

Sooooo . . . . . here goes . . .

1st Impression: Family--The more that I am on the mission field the more I am convinced that none of us were meant to walk alone. Just as God intentionally placed us into our biological families, He also creates within us a spiritual need for spiritual family--those people that we are called to walk with and serve God together. We were created, afterall, with a need for relationship. Not only that, the work that God has called us to do extends far beyond our own personal lives . . . it's just too huge . . . and to accompish it all, we need others.

Of course, in the great scheme of things, we are all one family--the Body of Christ--His Bride--however for practical purposes, He sets us within nuclear spiritual families. The question is, then, with so many great familes out there, how is it that we know which one is indeed, our family?

For me, in regards to our Every Nation Nürnberg Church . . . there was and is a continuing sense of recognition. I have seen in the leadership the same pioneering spirit that God has so deeply placed within me--to build His church in Germany and beyond, paving a road that is as of yet, unpaved. . . bringing reformation. I have seen the same passion and drive not only to see God glorified but to give Him everything--our lives. There is the same call to worship Him in spirit and in truth. The same focus on the building of character. The same longing to encounter Jesus everyday, face-to-face. The same heart to touch and change life after life with God's very presence. I have also even recognized, somehow, similar past experiences and life-lessons in our own individual walks with God--as if He has been grooming and preparing us for the things to come as we journey down this road together.

Thus, over the past three months, as I have been in Nürnberg, whether in a leadership meeting or talking with one other person, or simply hanging out with our youth group, I have had the thought repeatedly pop up . . . 'Thank you Lord, this is the place where I am supposed to be!'

2nd Impression: Life--Another thing that continually strikes me about life in Nürnberg, about being a part of the church there, is how much, well, life there is . . . God-life. It's not just that there are a lot of things going on . . . that true everywhere. Meetings. Gatherings. Conversations. Work constantly in progress. That's normal. But in every one of those meetings and gatherings, and conversations, and the work that's in progress, there is always something not-so-normal about it. God shows up.

We've had leadership meetings where we could sense God taking the different strains of each person's input and weaving them together so that we could see, at the end, 'ok, this is where we are going, this is what God is saying.' At prayer meetings I am always astounded by how God literally arrives with His agenda, and His Word--and it's an agenda and a Word that, every single time, strikes to the very heart of each person there. I never leave a prayer meeting unchanged. In fact, I have learned to go with a bit of holy fear . . . 'oh gosh, what's He going to do this time?' And it is always amazing.

God made it clear to us recently that He was going to take our group into a season of deep work, bringing issues up, healing, setting people free. He has absolutely been true to His Word . . . bringing something that can only be described as life to us . . .

. . . which can be seen in our weekly Sunday evening youth meetings where students and youth have ended up sharing their testimonies each time, of what God did in their lives the last time (the meeting the week before) . . . telling us how they have been changed. At our last monthly outreach meeting, U-NITE, to which a record 65 people came, we had prayed beforehand that God would lead us into conversations where He Himself would show up and speak. Well, after the meeting, those of us on the leadership team all ended up in incredible conversations. I myself remained half-amazed the entire night as I was literally led from one girl to the next . . . God giving me the opportunity as they voluntarily opened up to me to pray with them about some very deep things. And as we prayed, you could literally see God moving in their lives.

Meeting God and sharing Him . . . that's the life I see in our church in Nürnberg . . . it's a life that makes one hungry for more . . . a life that ushers the miracle of His Presence into our midst.

3rd Impression: Fun--What can I say? Living in Nürnberg is just fun! Hard? Yes . . . absolutely, in the sense that there is an incredible amount of work to be done to build His Kingdom . . . and there is a lot of darkness resisting it. We, all of us, are in a spiritual battle, and there's a major one raging over Nürnberg in particular. But, even with the waring and the battling and the praying and the working . . . every single ounce of it being worth it . . . Nürnberg is fun.

The place itself is fun. First mentioned in the year 1050, the old city center, is, as you can imagine, beautiful with its old old streets and buildings. It has lakes and a river running right in the middle of the city where you can go paddle-boating. Parks are all around. And of course, shopping. And, well, Nürnberg boasts of having the largest Cinema in Europe--and I am telling you, this thing is huge! Outside of the city, the surrounding areas are equally as lovely. Some days while driving to this or that place, the rolling hills covered in the greenest of grass literally call to me, tempting me to pull the car over so I can go and, well, leap and play and cavort in the fields. Perhaps that sounds too 'Maria'ish' as in Maria from the Sound of Music, but it just seems so fun to think of joining in on all of that beauty.

The people, too, are fun. Literally every weekend our youth group gets together to, well, enjoy being together! From taking our bi-weekly trip to Burger King (once we ended up spending five hours there just laughing at and with each other), to cramming into my small but great apartment to watch a movie, to grilling out and ending up in soccer tournaments in the backyard of someone's house, there is no lack for activity and the fellowship is rich. And it's not just our youth group. The church as a whole loves, well, fun! Whether for a week away in some other country, or just a day out at some park or lake, or at someone's birthday party, as long as there is food and fellowship involved, everyone's happy. Acts 2:42, in The Message, says that the early church commited themselves to 'life together,' and that is certainly a reflection of our church in Nürnberg.

So, family, life, and fun . . . . all impressions from my past three months in Nürnberg! I hope this brings you nearer to the reality we get to experience everyday with what God is doing in Germany. You are, afterall, an incredible part of this journey that we are on . . . thank you! (pics below)

Downtown Nürnberg

Pastors of our Every Naion Nürnberg Church: Harald and Bärbel Konschewitz

Church Leadership Weekend in Austria

me, Ralf, Sergei, Lenny, and Pastor Harald

Worship at Church

Me Giving the Offering Speech at Church

Eating Lunch Together Before Worship Practice Sunday Afternoons

Our Youth Group Hangs Out Every Weekend . . . grilling, watching 24, Fun!

Our Once-a-month student and youth Outreach . . . U-NITE

U-NITE: 65 visitors listening to our guest speaker

Snack and Hang-out time afterwards!

God-Conversations All Over the Place after U-NITE

Sharing and Praying with Each Other

Having Fun!

Playing Around

The Offer of a Life

2007-06-26T10:07:00.000+02:00

Puzzles. I like them. I like being challenged by them. Now, I don't so much mean the cardboard kind, fitting little pieces together to replicate some picture on the front of a box. Not only can I not remember, but I'm not even sure that there was a last time that I stood staring at some shelf in a store wondering which puzzle to purchase. One already can see, afterall, what the end result will be, so, why buy it?

Then again, if I really think about it, maybe those kinds of puzzles are what I am referring to afterall. . . only more of a God-kind where the end picture remains in a bit of a fog, and is thus far more appealing--and challenging--to me. Maybe what God does from time to time is hand me spiritual pieces of a much bigger puzzle--little glimpses of what He is in the midst of doing in my life. And by asking me to fit them together somehow, He is involving me in the process of Him developing, well, me. He, having created me with a penchant for having to 'figure things out,' is giving me the opportunity to do just that.

But doesn't He do that for all of us? Isn't that what He means when He invites us, not as servants, but as friends, into the very work that He is doing? As Jesus says in John 15:15, 'I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.'

Thus, when we go to Him, asking very simply, 'What are you doing, Lord? He whispers to our deepest hearts, ''Here, let me show you, my dear . . .'

I've been asking this very question a lot, lately. Thus the reason for this article. 'What are you doing, Lord?' The pieces He's been handing me are, to say the least, not small . . . but the end picture is as of yet so very elusive . . . maybe if I write, describing the pieces, I will see just a wee bit more . . .

Take Sunday. I was asked to give the offering speech at church at the very last minute . . . but when the request came, well, I already knew what to say as God had been reminding me beforehand . . . of the offer of a life. Romans 12 tells us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices . . . allowing our minds to be transformed . . and thus will we be able to discern God's will for our lives. Our bodies include our hearts. And we are to give them. In fact, there is nothing more powerful on earth than when we willingly stretch ourselves out in total surrender, as on an operating table, before the feet of Jesus. Just as Aslan willingly laid himself on the stone (even forced, it was his choice) in Chronicles or Narnia, as Jesus opened Himself up on the cross . . . we are to do the same, withholding nothing, even when it hurts to the point of dying . . . to self, to the world, to all. How much we are willing to give is how much God will ask of us . . . (He wants all of us, but are we willing to give it? . . . )

. . . and thus how much life will come from it. Why? Because our offering brings life. And the more complete the sacrifice, the more complete the life that will result . . . In Christ, death always transforms into resurrection. Thus, when we give ourselves in totality to Christ . . . well, we become livers of the Gospel and not just proclaimers. We don't just communicate the good news, we become the good news. 'For they overcame the enemy by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony (Rev. 12:11)' . . . thus the power of our sacrifice . . .

And at the same time the beauty of it. . . which I guess brings more light and sense to the challenges I have been facing through John and Stasi Eldredge's book, Captivating. I have read it before. But somehow I have found myself fighting it this time around. Or maybe to be more accurate, fighting God through it. 'The scariest thing for women is to offer our beauty into situations where we don't know if it will make any difference. Or worse, That we will be rejected.' That beauty, is in essence, letting our hearts very simply 'show up.' To offer them. To open up our chests and allow its very beat to be seen. Experienced. Even allowed, in a sense . . . allowing what's inside to come out. When we overcome our fear, refuse to withhold, and choose to make our offering, that is, our living sacrifice, an aroma pleasing to God--we send out an invitation to others to come and know Him, too.

But why can it sometimes be so hard, so painful, . . . such an opportunity for fear? I think the answer, for me, comes from the third piece in this current puzzle of mine. I had a dream a week and a half ago . . . In it, I was driving to meet with a group of friends, Had just come to the top of a hill, when suddenly I found myself lying on the ground, somehow confused. Looking around, I saw my car and it appeared to be totalled. I realized then that I had just been in an accident (even though I had no memory of it). I was bleeding, injured. I then looked in the other direction and saw a house standing right before me . . . I knew it was the house of a friend of mine who is known for praying with others for inner healing. This friend invited me inside and began, of all things, to tend my wounds by teaching me how to make homemade peanut butter . . .

Huh? Well, for those of you who know me well, peanut butter has become, for me, a tried and true comfort food. When asked if I want something from the States, it typically ends up being peanut butter . . . and God knows that, so He used it to communicate something very important to me. 'At some point, along the way, you were injured, and now I'm going to bring you healing, and comfort, and restoration. So you can make your offering more complete . . . so you can see what I will do with it . . . and thus, you see, you will not always remain injured and you will no longer need to fear. Instead, I will heal you and show you how I did it . . . '

Or, in other words, . . . 'I am going to transform your mind . . .'

Ahhhaaaa. now I am beginning to see . . . offer yourselves as a living sacrifce . . . and in so doing, God transforms our minds, so that . . .

. . . His promise . . . we will know, or learn (New Living Translation), God's will for our lives, which is good, pleasing, and perfect . . . the picture is developing. Somehow the cost of my offering transforms into the blessing of His Will made known in my life, His purposes made real in my life, and His plans--which are good and motivated entirely out of love-- coming to pass . . . the pieces are connecting . . . and the picture I am beginning to see . . . is Him.

So what are you doing, Lord? He responds . . . 'I am showing you me . . .'

Life on the Move

2007-03-21T20:55:00.000+01:00

Life. Its ebb and flow is always something I try not to be surprised by. 'Try' being the operative word. Afterall, God doesn't make it a secret that He often has us waiting, waiting, waiting until suddenly, "Go!" But that 'go' is always somehow, surprising, even so. I suppose it's a bit like a slow-motion scene from the movie Chariots of Fire. We watch as the racers dig the holes their feet will gain leverage from for 'take-off'. We see them bending down and taking their positions, feeling out just the right amount of weight to place on their hands and on their legs. Then they inhale. Exhale. Their brows furrow as they look down the lane, calculating their every move. They know what is coming. Then again, they don't. They will run. But will they succeed?

Then someone says, 'ready, on your mark . . ., ' and that's when eternity seems to begin. Briefly their eyes close as they drink in the reality that it's about to be. Only this 'briefly' holds within it so much weight, you can almost feel the blood pumping through their veins, their thoughts narrowing down to absolute focus. Time slows and suddenly you find yourself hanging with them as if in mid-air, suspended in something that feels unendending. Will it ever come?

'Bang!'

The shot that never fails to startle. The prepared runner. The attuned viewer. The most avid follower. We all take a jolt when the finger presses the trigger.

Maybe it's the burst of energy that it produces that is, at least, one of the primary purposes for that unending moment of 'wait.' I know that's how I've felt in the last days, after hearing the final 'go' in my own life to move. I knew it was coming. Could actually begin to see down the track as I peered into the ever-nearing future. But as always, there was that wee moment . . . the lull before the storm, the exaggerated beat of the heart, the hanging in-mid-air. I think everything in me, muscles, mind, spirit, was standing at attention. Tense. Ready.

So when the 'go' came, well, now it's all engines 'on!' Emails. Phone calls. Taxes. Boxes. Lists to go here and go there. Cancel this and organize that, pack, pack, pack . . . no stopping til' you reach the finish line.

And what will be the end result of this particular finish line (my move)? I am so excited about what is coming. But that question will probably never leave until I'm there and I can smell, taste, touch, hear, and see what God has in store. The way I keep running, even as the question interrupts me like my need for more air, is the only thing that keeps anybody running. The finish line--or more importantly what is waiting at the finish line.

Or, in this case, who is waiting at the finish line. The promise I have to hold onto is that which tells me that when I arrive, Jesus will be there. And it is that knowledge that brought me to the starting line in the first place (hearing His call to go). It's that knowledge that had me crouching on my knee, praying my way into the right starting position. It's that knowledge that held me as I waited in that 'unending' moment for the shot to fire. And it's that knowledge that will see me cross into the new season and the new things He has waiting there.

"Keep your eyes on Jesus, for He is the author and the finisher of your faith . . . " (Hebrews 12:2). Thank God for the race He's given us to run!

C-4 Pictures

2007-03-21T18:59:00.000+01:00

C-4--our Central European College and Career Conference was Powerful and Memorable! From the worship to the speakers to the performances to the relationships that were built . . . we were all changed forever! God was in our midst!

Innsbruck Singers

Innsbruck's Yari Playing Drums

Erwin from Mondsee Worshipping

Volker Introducing C-4

Lenny Speaking on God's Covenant with Us

Lisa, Nürnberg's Bass Player and Tom Playing the Piano

Karla Worshipping

Group from Mondsee Worshipping

Me Preaching on Faith Fueling our Identity in Christ

Wolfi from Salzburg Preaching from Psalm 139 Over Identity

Sabine, Manuel and I Performing A Song by Candelight

Sergei Preaching on Sunday Morning on Mission

Listening

Ricardo from Nürnberg and Manuel from Innsbruck

Nürnberg Peeps

At the End . . . Praying for the Groups from Each Region

Bonding Over Flag Football

A Powerful Weekend

2007-03-01T14:23:00.000+01:00

Kevin with U-Nite Poster

As I have been in the process of preparing to make the move from Innsbruck, Austria to Nürnberg, Germany in April, God provided a great opportunity for me this past weekend to travel up to Nürnberg again, in order to speak at their monthly U-Nite, as well as to continue to build relationships with the pastors, leaders, and students there. It was an awesome weekend!

The evening that I arrived, I attended a going away party for Kathi, the female student leader who left early this week for a year-long stint in the States. While a bitter-sweet moment, it was a blessing to see how tight-knit the group is! When they prayed for her, you could tell how much they love and support one another. God is definitely in their midst.

Friday evening was an incredibly powerful prayer meeting, both for the upcoming U-Nite, as well as for church on Sunday. You could literally feel God's presence! Not only do the members of our church there want to see things happen-God's Kingdom advanced--You can tangibly sense that God does, too! :-) In fact, one man who was having severe back-ache was prayed for and supernaturally healed! One of his legs that was shorter than the other grew to the same length as the other, right before our eyes! God did a miracle! And He is going to do more . . .

Thus, from Friday's prayer meeting on into Saturday, U-Nite, everyone remained fired-up and expectant to see God do even more! All throughout worship practice that morning, take-down and set-up that afternoon, there was an ease and lightness of heart among the group that came from a sense of unity and trust in the Lord.

That evening, we were not disappointed. After an awesome worship time, I was able to share a Gospel message that came out of my heart and my life, using my testimony as past figure skater. And well, I shared in German! (if you want to hear my message, simply go to www.u-nite.eu, media, and U-Nite messages, and you can download my sermon) Following that, Lenny, the leader of U-Nite, closed out the meeting with a powerful conclusion, and we proceeded to speak and minister to those who attended the meeting that night. Many many hearts were touched and we heard great testimonies of how their lives were impacted through what God did that night. Yeah! And, I was doubly encouraged through it all knowing that the relationships that were started that night will continue to grow when I move there next month!

The weekend carried on with a powerful Sunday service where people were once again touched mightily by God through a powerful message shared by Sergei, a Ukrainian leader in the church, as well as prayer afterwards. There is absolutely no doubt that God has some enormous plans--and is carrying them out-- for this church, this city, and this country! I am really humbled and honored to know that I will soon be a part of it all!

The rest of the weekend, then, through Tuesday midday, saw opportunites for me to build more with the leaders, to look at a potential apartment, as well as to continue working towards my upcoming move. All I could do on my drive home that afternoon was praise God for a powerful weekend, His mighty plans, and an exciting, Kingdom advancing, God-honoring future! God is so good! (pictures below)

Falk, Daniel, and Tim

Kathi and Lisa Gathering Drinks for U-Nite

U-Nite Worship

Lenny Konschewitz, the leader of U-Nite, transitioning from worship to message

Me Speaking to the 50+ people who attended

Making a Point

Talking with someone afterwards

Girls discussing

Karo and Kathi --sisters

Stefan and Kevin working on Technik

Tim Photographing the Evening

Picturing Life . . .

2007-03-01T14:06:00.000+01:00

The last few weeks have have provided some really fun, photoshooting moments--pictures that capture some of the incredible relationships that God has gifted me with here in Europe!

Several weekends ago three girls from Nürnberg drove down to spend the weekend with me. Amidst touring the local castle grounds, having breakfast at the Olympic ski jump overlooking Innsbruck, and well, just spending time together, we were able to record our moments with some pretty awesome pics.

Not long after that, a couple of the girls here in Innsbruck and I went for a Sunday afternoon walk in the woods behind their house . . . not knowing that our 'hike' was going to turn into a laughter-filled photoshoot. We had a great time!

Below are some of my favorite pics from those moments . . . I hope you enjoy!

Innsbruck Girls--Pictures

2007-02-28T23:06:00.000+01:00

Karla and I Overlooking the Valley

Maria Caught By the Wind

Maria and Karla's Eyes

The Three of Us Together

Laughing With the Wind

Capturing Karla

Karla and I

My Friend Maria

Nürnberg Girls in Innsbruck--Pictures

2007-02-28T22:29:00.000+01:00

Flags At the Olympic Ski Jump in Innsbruck

Nürnberg Girls and Volker in the Rings

Smiling Kathi

Me in the Rings

Lisa Picturing Innsbruck

Olympic Torch

Crazy Ski Jump

Thea and Lisa

The Not-So-Wintry Innsbruck Landscape

Miracle in Nürnberg

2007-02-01T14:22:00.000+01:00

The Very First U-Nite Campus Meeting in Nürnberg

More and more I am convinced that Germany is a miracle waiting to happen. Or, well, it's more like a miracle happening. An unfolding. A living organism. A seed that's fallen to the ground, died, and is now beginning to sprout out of the ground. A visible revelation of God's restorative plan for the nations--a people called to shake the earth with the testimony of His great Glory. Yes, there's darkness. A LOT of darkness. But where there's the greatest evil, God shines His brightest light. And the darkness cannot withstand the light.

You can see the miracles happening through sport, for instance. Soccer, to be specific. Or, football, as it is called here. It wasn't long after I arrived to the German-speaking world that people began to ask me, 'have you seen the film, Wunder von Bern?" (Miracle in Bern). Huh? Uh no. What's it about? Oh, soccer, right, of course. Well to watch it is to see a little miracle at hand. Actually, take the power of our American movie, Miracle, about our Hockey team's victory in the 1980 Olympics, and times that by 10 in terms of national identity. For Germany, the story of their football team rising to victory in Bern, Switzerland in 1954--rising from the ashes of a lost war, a lost identity, a depression, and international shame--is nothing less than food for the soul. Their victory in 1954 said, 'there is hope.'

Fast forward to only a few months ago. The World Cup. I wish you could have seen all of the media coverage. Never has there been a happier, more willing host for the nations. And the games. With each play, each victory, Germany's hope grew. For the first time people went to the streets, waiving German flags, banding together, willingly identifying themselves with a national identity that they could be proud of. And even though they lost to the Italians, the grace they displayed as a team, as a nation, once again fed their soul. Their success in hosting the World Cup, and playing so well, displaying courage as well as character, proclaimed this miracle . . . 'We are a nation . . .'

One nation. A nation that has gained so much through its achievements in soccer. But now the miracles must shift, for the question has gone from one of national identity to a national identity that is found under whom? Each nation has its choice of whom it will serve, and I believe that the fight is on over Germany. God wants the glory. Of course, this fight has always been going on. But now, I believe is its chance. And not only its chance . . . I believe that it is its destiny--a destiny in which this country will choose to rally not behind a sport (recently there were people in the public square actually bowing down to the gods of soccer), rather behind the ultimate reality of Jesus Christ. It is Germany's chance, and it is coming to pass . . .

. . . evidenced by what I observed this past weekend. I had the privilege of visiting our church in Nürnberg, Germany, where I got to experience two miracles--simply put: our Every Nation church there, as well as our new campus ministry.

Our church, pastored by Pastor Harald and Bärbel Konschewitz, is really a profound work of God in the nation of Germany. Located in the city that was the first to receive the reformation; the city where Hitler had his youth rallies, populated by thousands of young people from all over the country; a city that hosted and meated out justice through the Nürnberg Trials after WWII; a city that is known as the eyes and ears of Germany; a city that has never had a church grow beyond the 300+ membership mark, our church stands as a beacon, a lightouse, calling all men to God. This church, working in connection with the other great, but few, churches in the city, is driven by a passion to serve not as a thermometer, but a thermostat--not merely calculating, but determining the direction in which the city and the nation will go. And it's doing just that. Through their Sunday service and a church meeting afterwards, not to mention many incredible conversations, I was able to experience first-hand their heart to see people come into a life-changing realtionship with Jesus Christ. Not just their heart, but the reality of it. Miracles are happening. For example, two people have been supernaturally healed of hepatitus C. Marriages have been restored. People saved and freed from addictions. God is absolutely moving through this church.

And He is absolutely moving through their new Every Nation Campus Ministry. You may remember that a year ago, this group was started both through the help of our team in Innsbruck, as well as through the leadership of Lenny Konschewitz. Well, since that time, things have grown incredibly! From a small but foundationl student meeting every Sunday evening to the creation of an amazing U-Band this summer/fall, and on to a monthly evangelistic campus meeting, U-Nite, started in November, this group has surpassed all the statistics! 51 people showed up to their very first U-Nite--a huge success! And not only are many young people attending the meetings, but lives are being changed through Jesus Christ! His presence is tangible and people are being impacted! And this is only the beginning!

So, with these two miracles--the church, as well as the campus ministry--working in connection with what God is doing through the other ministries in Nürnberg, there is no doubt in my mind that God is shining a light into the very heart of Germany and that we will see not just miracles, but, The Miracle in Nürnberg (guess they'll have to make a movie out of it!). This miracle will, in essence, be the speaking God's creative Word that will create for Germany a national identity defined not by what it does, but by whom it serves--Jesus Christ, Lord of Lords, and King of Kings.

If God lays it on your heart, you can be praying for what God is doing in Nürnberg:
1. For Him to continue to strengthen, protect, and be ever-present with the pastors of the church--the Konschewitz family
2. For wisdom and continued growth
3. For increased influence in the culture
4. For financial provision
5. For more laborers for the harvest (in this moment, they have no full-time staff)
6. For the jugendgruppe (or U-Nite, campus ministry)

Volker Preaching at the Third U-Nite

Snacks Afterwards

Some of the Strong Young Men in the Group

There's Lots of Fun Here!

Till We Have Faces . . .

2007-01-21T19:48:00.000+01:00

Normally I like reading books with main characters that I, well, like. People who I can empathize with, understand, and relate to, yes in terms of my own humanity, but certainly in terms of my ideals. I want to look up to those I read about. In fact, it seems to me that we all tend to feed ourselves with the notion that heroism actually does exist through the characters we meet. It's not that daily life is devoid of real-life heroes, but I would make the leap to say that there are far too few. Most of us make our way, for the most part, from day to day, serving our own ends--and watching ourselves and each other doing it! (The tragedy being that we typically deny that that is what we are doing). Even so, we need the hope that there is more, that we can become more, so we hold onto the examples given us through books.

I suppose encountering yet another heroine that I liked was, therefore, my expectation when I picked up C.S. Lewis' "Till We Have Faces." Okay, sure. I read the back cover. And, well, it wasn't misleading. But, I reasoned with myself, 'come on, this is C.S. Lewis . . . you always like his characters . . ." Surely this book, taken from a myth about two sisters, Orual and Psyche, and their dealings with the greek gods (specifically Cupid, the god of love himself), focuses more on the lovely and good Psyche, rather than her ugly and embittered sister . . .

Uh. No. As I got deeper and deeper into the text I realized that I was getting deeper and deeper into Orual's head, not her sister's. In fact, almost the whole book, written in first person, is a defense of herself and her own actions against the gods. And the defense is . . . ugly.

With every chapter I found myself asking, 'why am I still reading this? . . . " It felt like I was slogging through mud; like the actual act of reading was work. With each situation the reader is on one hand confronted with actual events, and on the other, forced to suffer through Orual's interpretation of them. Over and over again I kept wanting to shout at her, 'you're either lying or your blind! Can't you see that the reason you made this and that decision was because you really had this or that motivation?!?!"

And yet, little pricks would touch my heart and soul as I continued to read. These pricks were more from relating to her than anything else. Somehow you could see that although she herself isn't even trying to be pure before the gods (in our case, a Holy God), hers is the human plight exemplified. Her ugliness is a soul-ugliness, and it's just so, true, so real. It is also blinding. No matter how clearly the reader can see it, she just can't face the fact that she operates out of jealousy, covetouesness, a need for control, manipulation, self-centeredness and hatefulfulness. Instead, she considers that all does is out of love. She deceives herelf. Therein lies the sting. As is the case with her, it's our unrecognized motivations, our vain attempts to fill our needs ourselves, that get us into trouble--trouble with God and trouble with others.

The truth I saw kept me reading, all the time not just hoping but desperate for the relief Lewis's point would bring. Surely he would not have written this book if he didn't have something to say beyond that of simply painting a picture that should turn people away by its sheer repulsiveness--no matter how clear of a mirror it presents before our faces.

His point, eventually, came. You see, at the very end of the novel, once Orual has written her much-to-be-desired defense, she is brought to a court where the gods are put on trial before her. She is the one with the complaint afterall. Her problem? As with so many of us who can find ourselves accusing God, whether out of ignorance, lack of understanding, or self-pity, she asks "Why? Why did you treat me so unfairly?"

It's the gods' response that encapsulates the sheer genius of the book--their response that left me breathless and motivated to write this article. Orual, having just been brought before them, finds that she has a scroll in her hand. She assumes that the scroll is the defense that she has just finished writing. When the gods tell her to read it out loud, however, and unrolls the parchment only to discover that it is a totally different document written in a different hand. She wants to proclaim, 'this is not what I wrote!', however by command, read she must.

And what she finds is that document she is reading is actually the truth. The truth of how she really felt through all of those situations in her life. The truth of what her motivations really had been. The truth that many of her own actions bore the 'unfair' fruit she had tasted--not those of the gods. She sees herself for who she really is. She sees that her physical ugliness is not a fault of the gods, but a relfection of her own heart.

She reads the text over and over again until a voice resounds . . . "Are you answered?" All she can say is, 'yes.' She realizes that the gods will make no other defense. For, 'til the word can be dug out of us, why shoud they hear the babble that we think we mean? How can they meet us face to face till we have faces?"

Men "lightly . . . talk of saying what they mean,' but the question we are presented with is, who of us really knows what we really mean? How do we acquire eyes to see, really see, the real condition of our own hearts? Lest we find ourselves like Orual, at the very end of our lives discovering the truth that would have made things so very different had we recognized it before?

In Psalm 19:13, David acknowledges this problem when he cries out, "how can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?" He knew that until we get real with ourselves, allowing God to show us the muck that's inside, God cannot really deal with us. By that I don't mean He doesn't love us, won't take care of us, answer our prayers, hear our cries, and be a presence in our lives. He is faithful even when we are not. But if we want to go beyond those things, to live in the abundance we have been promised, to know God, get our hands dirty in the kingdom and do something with our lives that bears fruit and brings people before the Father, we must come before the Father ourselves. Chests open. Hearts exposed. Ready to see and be seen. Otherwise all God has to work with is nothing more substantial than mist and air. Mist and air. And we will end up being the ones with something to answer for.

Thankfully, Lewis' book goes on to become a tale of redemption. I won't go into it, you can read it for yourself, but I will say this. Yes, maybe we all, or I should speak for myself, maybe I, prefer tales of good-hearted heroes. But at times, it's a life like Orual's, serving as a mirror that reflects our own hearts back to us, that accomplishes far more than the image of a heroic character could ever do. For, how can we follow the heroes if we cannot first see the way? The real journey towards heroism and a live well-lived begins with heart. Once we allow God in, allow Him to show us the truth, take responsibility for it, and allow Him to change us; only then can we live the life God intended for us. Then will we have faces.

Alias--The End of an Era?

2007-01-21T19:13:00.000+01:00

Julia pictured here as Sidney Bristow for a recent performance at church

So, I did it. After a year of avoiding, sulking, and feeling the deep, heart-rifting pain of an era coming to its end (and not such a stellar end, from all the rumors), I faced my fears and watched the final season of Alias. It could not be avoided any longer.

Now, I suppose there could be two responses from those of you who know me well. The first . . . 'what!?! Deanna, a year behind on Alias!!!.' Well, yes, it's true. Blame it on my being tucked away within a bunch of Alpen mountains. Or, perhaps, my technological ineptitude, as even the thought of learning how to download a t.v. show gives me chills. Or, maybe it's the sudden drop below zero that occurred between a certain Sydney Bristow and Michael Vaughn. They say global warming is effecting everything, but I say global freezing hit the show without apology. And, well, since I have been responsible for the conversion of so many to the world of Alias . . . how could I face its sudden downward spiral as j. j. Abrams found himself lost on an island fighting, what?, rather than on a mission saving the world from certain destruction? Hmmm. Oh well. Eventually the inevitable had to happen.

Which is why, for those of you who may have a hard time imagining me without Alias (me too! perhaps another reason for my avoidance), the thought of my actually finishing the series is a foreign concept. But, well, I can tell you now that I did not go looking for it! It came to me! I was innocently visiting my friends in Budapest when all of the sudden an unmarked package arrived containing the Rambaldi-esk contents of 'the Final Season'--page 47 included. The note attached read, 'Watch and his final works will be revealed.' And, well, if this weren't temptation enough, I could hardly avoid getting sucked back in when, after galavanting around Budapest during the day, I would return to where I was staying at night only to find the entire family glued to yet another of Sydney's missions. Her missions had always become mine. And so I watched.

I watched until the end. Those I had been so inspired by walked off the screen, down towards the beach (I guess sooner or later Alias had to end up on an island, too . . . ), and then the credits rolled. The book of Rambaldi was closed. And well, I have to admit, it was in some ways a proud moment for me. While it was not a stunning end, it was respectable, as stories go. Most loose ends were tied. Bristow and Vaughn were reunited (in spite of the missing, disappointing, zing), and the world was saved. Far beyond that, however, I realized that I had just finished a journey that would never really actually be over for me. That's what the note attached must have meant . . .

'. . . and his final works will be revealed.' For I realized that 'his' was not referring to Rambaldi, rather 'His,' meaning God, the one who feeds my very soul. Ok. Ok. So, Alias is just a show. The characters are not real. I KNOW. But God is a handy sort. He never wastes anything. He uses even the most frivolous seeming things to do a work within us.

Looking back, I can see just how much of a work He did within me using the earth-shaking missions of Sydney Bristow. For starters, he got me dreaming--dreaming of lands far far away where I could live on a scale that was not just campus/city impacting, but nation/continent impacting. He prepared me for the moment when I would receive my real-life assignmnet to leave everything behind for a land that I did not know. He instilled in me a desire to learn how to become all things to all people, so that by any means I may reach some with the knowledge of Him.

And then, as I found myself on the field, facing situations that felt as adrenaline-rushing as Sydney's own cliff-hanging moments, each time there would come a cool/calm certainty that 'this too shall pass,' and that before I know it, I will find myself back at 'CIA headquarters,' sharing what has become merely a tale and able to look ahead to the next adventure. And when things have gotten their darkest? I have heard a Vaughn-like voice, as I stood staring into my own vast, night-filled ocean, ready to walk away from the threats of the enemy and the battles that feel so much bigger than I; a voice that soothed me and filled me with a certainty that I am needed. That for whatever reason I have been chosen for this assignment and I must stay in it . .. the darkness, cannot, will not win. There is hope--a hope that is carried within me and every other 'agent'--God in us, our hope of glory--the light that will pierce the darkness.

God has used Alias (among other things, of course!) to get me going. To keep me going. And to let me see that there is always more to come--more missions, biggere battles, grander victories, and unendless opportunities to save the world, one life at a time. Perhaps one era has ended. But, then again, perhaps not . . . Afterall, I still have the DVD's . . . you never know when you might get an invitation to the next Alias session . . .

Bringing in the New Year in Budapest!

2007-01-10T23:43:00.000+01:00

View of the Danube

It wasn't but a week or so after I had my initial taste of freedom, 'loosed' from all ugly foot ornaments (casts), and able to begin to walk normally again, that I boarded a train and headed to Budapest, Hungary--there to spend my Christmas and New Years with friends from the States. While, unfortunately I was not able to go home this year for the holidays, the Lord knew and provided. Budapest was definitely the next best thing!

While there, I had the opportunity to stay with a missionary family from my church in Dallas (the Weirs)--a very sweet and much-needed taste of home. I was also able to spend time with two of the families who were part of our team in Innsbruck--to see first-hand God's faithfulness to them as they have believed God and stepped into a new season of ministry. They are doing so well! And, I had the great opportunity to connect and play with fellow campus minister and friend, Jen Pellant, who I attended grad school with, as well as her roommate and my friend, Erin. So, between catching up on movies and Alias, playing with the Weirs' dogs, chatting away with team members, and scampering around town with the girls, and bringing in the New Year with a party, I had a blast!

One of highlights of my time there, though, was the chance I had to see God in action. Our new church plant in Budapest is still only a few months old, however, so many things are being set into motion already--especially now that everyone is settled. To begin with, the team is comprised (so far) of four families with kids, one couple, and one single. For Europe, that is huge! Weekly, the staff meets to strategize and plan. They have some incredible ideas! Not to mention, not long after everyone arrived, they began meeting at the Weir's house for church. New people are already coming. And, the team has started off on a high note with a new key disciple named Peter, who has been an invaluable resource. Jen is teaching in a Hungarian school, so she is learning the language super-fast (and wow, I am thankful for German, because Hungarian seems to be about 10x's harder!). Christy has begun to reach out to someone she has seen out on the streets. And the Gill's have a heart to eventually start an orphanage. With God's help, it would seem that there is nothing they won't be able to accomplish that He lays on their hearts!

All the way around, my time in Budapest was a blessing and a gift! I was filled up relationally, deeply encouraged, and re-envisioned for God's purposes in reaching Europe! He is most certainly making a way!

Caslte in Hero's Square (downtown Budapest), and the largest outdoor ice rink in the world! It was like looking at heaven!

Sunday Church Service at the Weir's House

Renea, a member of the team, bringing in the New Year through leading worship

Erin and Jen in the light of a castle

A little drama--New Year's Party Games with Peter (Hungarian) and Chris

A New Year and a New Friend--He enjoyed the party very much, too!

The Hair He Returned to Me

2006-10-17T21:42:00.000+02:00

My First Skating Competition--Age 6

My toes and stairs have a special relationship. My toes are the only part of my feet that touch the stairs when I am climbing up or walking down them. It has always been that way for me--so natural that I only ever realized I was doing it when someone would take notice and comment. I think I've tried to conquer a set of stairs flat-footed only a few times in my life. And mind you, I had to TRY to do it. But, in the end I never found it worth the effort. Why clump when you can glide? And more to the point, since I never 'chose' to do it anyway, why give up a part of me, no matter how simple or small, that means, well, me?

What, I am sure you are asking, does this have to do with hair? Quite a lot, in fact, as you will see . . . But first, . . . children. They are so unashamedly themselves. Watch one, and you will observe, not what they want you to see, but who they are--all of it, good, bad, REAL. As a child I was a dancer. Turning here, jumping there. I twirled. I begged my mom to buy me 'turn-around' dresses. At the age of 3 skates became a prime medium for me be, well, more me. Growing older, I remember finding some empty room (always like a promise), turning up the music and just dancing my heart out. And oh, the dancing scenes in movies like Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast. Even now my room is littered with people dancing.

Apart from dancing, I was also a story teller and a music lover. I remember leading my school friends around the playground at recess in some story I was making up. Barbies, of course, had their fair share in the dramas I would enact. And records. Apparently I would sit for hours and hours in my room alone and just listen to my records. I would get so quiet, so lost in my own world, that at least twice, when I failed to come when called, my parents ended up phoning the neighbors and sending people out to look for me around the neighborhood. Poor Mom and Dad. Their hearts were pounding with fear while mine was soaring in some imaginary place.

As the years went by, though, that soaring took a downward turn. I must have been about 9 when one of the first stings came. It was after Karate class when everyone was leaving and the floor--oh, the wide open floor--just called me to come and 'skate.' So I did. And when I stopped jumping and twirling and leaping, some accusing voice, perhaps only in my head, jabbed me like the tip of a knife--'what do you think you're doing, showing off . . .' I actually remember feeling the blood drain from my face, the embarassement. Showing off? I was only 9, but I agreed with that voice. I was showing off, and it was wrong.

It didn't take long for me to believe what other circumstances and people and lies told me. When I was the most myself I always seemed to be the most misunderstood. 'How could you do that?' or 'How can you be THAT way?' or 'What in the world were you thinking?' were common accusations. Being different, being myself, always seemed to be too much. The more acceptable me was more, contained.

The ice became my last safe haven. For a while. Competition can be a nasty business--especially in the world of ice skating. At the age of ten I broke my elbow and ended up having surgery. My year off the ice was followed by accusations from jealous skating moms that I would never make it back again, I would never be good again, it was over for me. Although angry and determined enough to show them they were wrong, those words continued to ring in my ears. They haunted me over the next four years when I struggled between skating well, to getting injured again and again. And as each new year came and went, 'reality' set in. I was getting too old, guess they were right . . .

My Hair? Well, I think it probably happened, or began to happen, when i was 14--a time in my life when I sank into a despair that came from recognizing, for the first time, what I thought was 'reality,' the way life was going to be. It was a life that marked me as a failure, incapable of being the successful competitive skater I wanted to be. It also appeared like it was going to be a life of imprisonment--having to hold back those parts of me that were the 'too muches,' since nobody seemed to want them anyway.

Of course at 14 I didn't realize what I was doing--or how little sense any of it made. But it's a funny thing, when we grow older, how we learn to adapt to life as we experience it. We take those parts of us that are most vulnerable to hurt and tuck them deep down inside us--so far down that not only do we not even know they are there, we forget we hid them in the first place. Or, for those of us with more extreme, black and white types of personalities, we go all the way . . .we don't just tuck, we cut. We cut those parts of ourselves off that seem to be just too much. We cut until we forget.

So, you can imagine that it came as quite a shock when I awoke from one of the most vivid dreams i have ever had one morning about four years ago. It was a dream in which I cut off all my hair. And, it was such a vivid dream, that I awoke as angry as I had been in the dream. It took me a minute to calm down and realize what was going on--that I had been dreaming, but was now awake, in my bedroom, alone in my house, with a head full of hair still. By the time I got my wits about me, I knew I had to do something about it, so I went into my living room, grabbed my journal and Bible, curled up on the couch and began to ask the Lord what in the world it all meant.

Without question I knew it was a God dream. It started out with me contentedly cleaning a room, bringing order to it. It was the room of a child (with toys, etc.) so I knew it represented my childhood. After a bit I stopped cleaning and went downstairs where there was a group of people. They were preparing to eat a meal that had just been delivered, a meal that was extremely fancy, artistic in design. But right when I got to the bottom of the stairs, I realized that they had ordered the food for everyone except for me. I remember feeling so misunderstood and forgotten in that moment. All I could say to them was, 'I was upstairs cleaning, and why didn't you even think of me?" In my anger and hurt I ran up the stairs, into the bathroom, grabbed my hair (in my dream it was black and curly) in one hand and scissors in another, and just sheared it all off. That done, I walked out of the building and closed the door behind me. That's when I woke up.

As I asked the Lord to tell me what it all meant, He began to take me through a series of old memories, hurts, that had caused me to feel the way I felt in the dream. Literally I sat on the couch with one scene after another playing in my head--most of them had been forgotten. And oh, how I cried--remembering not only what happened, but feeling the pain of the moment as vividly as if it were happening to me right then. And in that time, not only did the Lord show me what happened, He asked me to forgive, to let go. He asked me to begin to think differently about the way I saw others, those circumstances, and the way i saw myself.

And then, we got to my hair. I had two questions; 'who cuts off their hair when they're angry?,' and, 'why in the world was my hair black and curly in my dream?' The Lord responded with a Scripture, and a truth. "A woman's hair is her glory. Deanna, you cut off your glory."

I remember sitting on my couch in shock processing what I had just heard. Black and curly? The glory, His Glory, that God built into me. The part of me that is the romantic, that wants to discover the deep things of God, the dancer, the writer, . . . all of those parts of me that really make me me. And I did. I cut those parts off. Looking back I could see that it was true. I could see how I'd begun to make choices, after the age of 14, to keep myself from trying new things, or how I would disqualify myself from participating in this or that. How I literally shut off a part of my personality not only to the world, but to me. And the hardest part of it all, the most merciful, was the fact that Lord did not hide the truth from me. It was my fault and no one else's. No matter how ignorant I had been at the time, not really realizing what I was doing, still I had made the choice to do it. That day, in His compassion, He gave me the chance to repent. To ask for forgiveness for rejecting what He had created. He was giving me the opportunity to start over.

And start over, I did. In some ways much faster than I had imagined. Within a few weeks I found myself enrolled in a writing class. Within about 6 months I was starting an arts ministry. While in some ways, it all went very fast, in others, however, the whole process felt very slow. Not only did things need to change circumstancially, but I had to change. I had to see things differently . . .as Romans 12 admonishes us, I had to change the way I thought. I had to learn to admit who I really was, and then to show me to well, first me, and then the world.

It was definitely a battle. Every step I took felt so frightening. There was a lot of progress, but then I would find myself falling into old patterns. One day I began to sing a song, just to myself, in which the words just came to me. I grabbed a sheet of paper and began to write down the text, thinking Lord, you are giving me a song! . . . only to stop, take a good long look at it, and think . . 'what are you doing writing a song? What are you doing singing? You can't sing . . .' So I stopped. Or, while working with our dancers who were a part of our arts ministry, I refused to allow myself to even consider taking part . . afterall they were basically professional, so what in the world did I think I was doing, imagining I could join in . . .

So the battle raged. But after a couple of years I began to hear fewer accusations and more Holy Spirt. 'Deanna, try this. You just might be able to . . . ' And my heart began to recognize, and admit, that my desires might actually be reflections of what I was created to do and be. And not only that, with the Holy Spirit, I might even be able to do it better than I thought . . .

All of this led me up to the very day when the Lord gave me back my hair. It was only a few months ago. Beforehand, I had always imagined that the restoration of my gifts would take time and a process. Afterall, when someone has cut their hair and they want it to get long again, what do they do but the only thing they can do . . . give it time to grow again. Because of that, I absolutely did not expect the Lord to do what He did . . .

It was a day in which, needing a breakthrough in a completely other area of my life, I asked a couple of my leaders to pray for me. (I had told them about the dream beforehand). We prayed about the other topics, but at the end of our time, one of them looked at me and asked out of the blue, 'Deanna, you know the dream you had in which you cut off your hair? Well, what did you do with your hair when you finished?' I looked at her suprised and said, 'well, I guess I left it all behind, in the bathroom, when I walked out the door.' She nodded. 'Yes, you did. When we were just praying I saw you walk out the door, as you described, and leave your hair behind. But I also saw something else. After you left, I saw Jesus enter the room. I saw Him gather up your hair, and hold it in his fist. Deanna, He didn't throw it away. He's been holding onto it, waiting all of this time, because He knew that someday, you would return and ask to have it back."

In spite of my sin, God made a way, a way for me to repent, and a way for me to return to His plan for my life . . for who I am to be in Him. In fact He'd already had a plan for my restoration the very day I cut myself off . . . He always intended to rescue me.

And rescue me, He has. Quite suddenly, actually--reflecting the truth that He has literally given me back my hair. Although it did take a process for the changes to begin to happen, the fruit of it all came quite unexpectedly.

A few weeks after we prayed, well, I have never sung publicly. Then one day, mostly in spite of myself, I joined the worship team and am now I'm singing regularly. Then on another day I was at a friends house, and had a sudden realization that he had a guitar, and that I wanted to play! He got it out for me to mess around with, told me I could borrow it all summer, and then, well, I began to have lessons!

And, craziest of all, about a month ago I was riding in the car with one of the leaders in our church when he said, 'in October we will go through the the book, The Purpose Driven Life in church. I wanted to ask you, will you be in charge of creating a performances for every weekend that we are doing it?' Creating Performances? 6 in a Row?

I knew it was the Lord, so, in spite of my fear I said yes. And, even now I can't believe what's been happening--how God has been using it. So far we have had our first two performances (pictures below and in next 'article'). The first was a dance that I choreographed and performed in with two other girls. When we finished, people in the audience were crying. They are still talking about how professional it was. The second performance was even more powerful. Using lighting, recorded testimonies, one girl playing the guitar, and the other the piano, two of our students sang and played songs that they had written themselves, and then led the church in singing a song about being created to worship God. Not only did people cry after that performance, everyone literally sat in their seats, silent for five minutes while the presence of God fell--you could literally feel Him working. I was shocked to see how powerfully God chose to use what He had enabled me to create. He gave me back my hair, intending to use that Hair not for my glory, but for His!

And so now, when I find myself climbing the stairs on my tip-toes, or twirling in my kitchen at night, or facing a crowd of people about to show them, me, I see Him, handing me my hair, I hear Him saying, 'go, do that,' and I sense, more than anything, that none of this is even about me, as the book, the Purpose Driven Life says. It is not about me. But it is about Him, and the work He intends to do, and the fact that He wants to release all of us into the gifts He has given us--to become the people He created us to be, a chosen people- so that we will all stop hiding and start building His Kingdom the way He intended us to build it . . . "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago (Ephesians 2:10)." Things intended to serve one purpose . . . Bring Him Glory and show the world that He lives!

Performing On Stage at Church

Years Later . . . Still Turning . . .

The Hair He Returned to Me--More pics

2006-10-11T15:40:00.000+02:00

"Mom" dancing her part

Sabine performing as the counselor

All Three Dancing Together

Karla opening with her guitar

Katharina following with her song on piano

Celebrating Transition--Saying Goodbyes

2006-09-29T10:52:00.000+02:00

As I mentioned in my latest newsletter, our ministry is currently undergoing some serious movement . . . God sending people out right and left, right into their destinies. And while it has been a season mixed with happiness and sadness, I wanted to share more pictures and stories with you than I could fit on one page, just to give you not only more of a taste of this awesome opportunity we have been given as a ministry to celebrate one another . . . but also to show how Faithful our God is in leading and guiding each person and family--and therefore each one of us--into the next steps He has for our lives. The testimonies below serve to remind us, that, as Psalm 23 says, "He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His Name."

And, as you will see below, God has been honored! From reading the lyrics our students wrote for the Drakes to the tune of, "Summer of '69," to seeing and hearing a bit more about how special it was for us girls to be a blessing for our student Babsi as she prepared for her marriage to Igor, to relishing in God's faithfulness through saving Isa and making her a new creation before sending her off to Hamburg . . . well, it's apparent. Psalm 34:8 tells us to 'taste and see that the Lord is good.' And, as is evident below, He is! Hope you enjoy!

Our New U-Band Serenades The Drakes With the Following Song . . . "

"Summer of 2006" (ie. 'Summer of '69')

We got our first real UBand
Aaron helped us get it straight
Played till our fingers bled
and till our voice was gone

We - that's some guys from church
Got together and we tried real hard
No one quit but Igor got married
Yes, we know, we will get real far

Oh, when we look back now
This summer should last forever
And if we had a choice
Yeah, we'd always wanna be there
Now comes the challenge of our lives

Ain't no use in complaining
when you know you must move on
We will keep up what you taught us
And once you come back you'll see:

Your labour wasn't in vain
What you built will last forever
Oh, and with the grace of God
We will change this world forever

These were such blessed days of our lives
Thank you for summer 2006

The Drakes React To Their Song

Tom and Tom playing with baby Seth for The Last Time

Laughing and Crying While Telling the Drakes How Much They Meant To Us

Gifts for the Kids: Austrian Hats

Thank You, Aaron and Stacey!

Celebrating Transition--Babsi's Bachelorette Party

2006-09-28T23:41:00.000+02:00

Bride-To-Be

This was, indeed, a bachelorette party that I will never forget! For two main reasons! To begin with, it was my first Austrian wedding experience, so well, I was, to say the least, curious as to what the differences might be. Even more so when I learned that our girl's night for Babsi was to be 'Cowgirl' themed. I kept wondering how my my very European-styled and charactered friends were going to actually pull it off. But, apart from the German language coming out of their mouths, as you can see below . . they pulled it off quite well, country music, clothes, and all. Two of the girls even gave us a taste of a hoe-down! And the ribs. Yum! A little taste of home!

The second reason I will remember this night was the great adventure I had right before. I was preparing for the party with one of our girls, Maria, when well, it happened. Now, all growing up I heard things like, when cutting something, cut away from your hand. And, pay attention to what you're doing instead of talking, talking, talking. But, somehow, I don't quite remember hearing what you should do when you decide to try and stab an avocado seed, in the midst of a conversation, for the very simple purpose of pulling the seed out of the avocado without mushing the 'meat--.' I guess I learned, at least, what you shouldn't do . . . miss! And boy, did I miss big time . . . stabbing right into my hand! The cut was so deep, in fact, that I immediately felt my body going into shock. As heat travelled from my head to my toes and my head began to swim, I immediately put my hand under water, and then Maria and I had a few silly confused moments of trying to remember what we should do! After remembering, oh, wrap it up! we ended up going to the hospital where doctors and techs tried to make jokes in the Tyrolian dialect while they wrapped my hand so thoroughly it looked like I'd broken my thumb again! (for those of you who remember my jumping from the horse story)!

Amazingly enough, though, Maria and I managed to get to the hospital and back in an amazing 45 minutes . .. just in time for us to finish decorating and cooking, and for the party to begin! And once the pain pills took effect . .. well, it was a great, very pain-free night for me! :-) And, most important of all, I believe that Babsi was truly blessed! She was a beautiful, glowing bride-to-be!

Tanja Decorating

Texas Decorations and TexMex Dip (Praise the Lord!)

Maria making Awesome Ribs!

Suprise!

Babsi and her sisters

Karla and Babsi-great friends

Celebrating Transition--Isa

2006-09-28T23:26:00.000+02:00

Isa a little bit nervous before her Baptism

Isa. I think I could write a book about her. From the first moment I saw her at church, tall and lovely, standing by Julia's side, I knew we would become great friends. I knew, somehow, that God was going to do something.

That same day a man prayed for her, and said she had a purity of heart that was beautiful to the Lord. That day, she got saved.

And somehow, as she began coming to my Bible Study and to our different group events, it was as if she had always been there . . . as if we couldn't do without her. She was simply amazing! It was as if, even though she had just accepted Jesus in her heart, she'd always, in some way, been near Him. He'd been preparing her all of this time. And here she was, coming to us with an increcibly unusual maturity and grace about her. The things she would say in Bible Study were literally astounding--full of wisdom.

And her heart . . . she immediately began serving, in the church, for others, as my German tutor :-). She prayed for people constantly. And as we spent more time together, well, I was right, we became great friends. And through this friendship I discovered something more . . God has given her an incredible ability to counsel and pastor and, well, minister! The call on her life is a great one!

So, on the day we baptized her, getting her ready to be sent off to her new job and new life in Hamburg, Germany, I was certain of two things. First, God has incredible things in store for her . . . she will be instrumental in many many women being set free to walk at a greater level in Christ someday. And second, for us, for our frienship, this is just the beginning. So, as sad as I was to watch her go, deep inside, I knew that this is just the beginning . . .

Julia and Isa; best friends since age 6

Buried to be . . .

. . . Raised Again into New Life

Rejoicing!

Worshipping Afterwards

Pride and Prejudice Meets God's Presence

2006-09-03T16:53:00.000+02:00

Schloss Teuschenthal--the Castle

As the months began creeping by in this, the year of 2006, through spring and summer, I continued to look more and more forward to having a day when I could just, well, have a day, or two, or maybe more to just get away and be. Sometimes the things going on here in Innsbruck would add up to such a crescendo of voices and events all clamoring for attention that I just longed for . . . quiet. Other times the opportunity for quiet that I did have became only an empty harbor for thoughts that wanted to wash the peace away and raise up questions like stagnating tidal waves. Or of course, what I thought would be a time of rest became out of necessity, warfare--spiritual warfare. And while these things vying for my focus were not typically negative--just high-pressured, they caused me to long to have a pause from feeling like I had to constantly stand-at-attention; to simply lie at the feet of Jesus, instead.

Just a few weeks ago that day came, packaged in an 8 night stay at a castle-hotel in Eastern Germany (more pics below). This trip was, to say the least, a gift. From God's provision of money, to the price for my trip being amazingly low . . . to the fact that being in a castle was my heart's desire . . . a Pride and Prejudice kind of locale . . . everything seemed to go beyond what I could have imagined.

. . . Of course, travelling 8 hours alone to a place one has never seen before does imply some adventures and quirks. They didn't tell me, for example, that I would need a car until after I'd arrived, with their knowledge, by train. Nor did I realize that the gorgeous pics of the place on the internet were about 12 years old. Thus the 'hairy'tennis courts and overgrown grounds. And of course, no internet site could convey the interesting 'factory'ish' aroma that pervaded what I came to discover was the industrial heart of Germany. What about the people, you ask? Well, there kind of weren't any. I met only one family staying at the hotel for over half of my time there. They became in a sense, my anchor; . . . 'oh, good, you're still here . . .' I would think to myself as I saw them in the breakfast room in the mornings. The rest of the time the hotel was---unpopulated. More so, when at 5pm the hotel staff literally left. I mean, everyone. Should one have a problem in the evening? I quickly discovered that, well, tough. Don't bother trying to call the reception . . . because no one would be there!

To make things even more interesting, well, all of my friends and the students here were so excited that I was going to just, 'feel like a princess' for a few days. I had to laugh though, upon my arrival, when I realized that my room, was--(which explained the 'great' price)--more like the servant's quarters--incredibly tiny with a mass of green leaves for the view out the window. (The nice man who delivered my luggage and I to my room proudly walked to my window, moved the curtain aside saying in German ' . . . and here you see . . . a tree.' Uh huh.) NOt only that, the room came equipped with the loudest regrigerator I have ever heard in my life (thus rendering it unusable as there was no way I would have been able to sleep at night). So, other than breakfast I mainly lived off of pesto pasta stored ontop of the stove. Added to that were my uninvited roommates . . . flying bugs that looked a little too much like black gnarled miniature monsters who, for some unknown reason, had a hankering for hair--mine, to be exact.

And, finally, to add some spice to the overall flavor of the place, there was its history . . . the original owner was a rich industrial businessman who during the days of the war served as one of the leaders for the resistance against HItler. Their hidden meetings took place right there in the castle. That is, until he was caught, murdered, and thrown into the river. Hmmmm. Not exactly a Pride and Prejudice story line . . . although heroic to say the least . . . That knowledge, however, definitely affected the first few nights I slept there . . .

After about three days, however, I finally settled in and slowly began to relax and just have fun. I learned the bus system and went to town a couple of times. Had a date with the Lord at the movie theater to watch Superman Returns. Took long walks. Played guitar, wrote, and read a lot. It was a lovely time.

The crowning glory of my stay there, however, was a single afternoon in which God showed up. Often our own longings help determine who we are going to be, and on this one sun-filled afternoon God revealed something in my heart that pushed me to pray, "Lord, I want to be like this . . . "

It happened on a day that, unlike most of the others, was warm and sun-filled. Thrilled by weather's invitation to take part in its glory, after breakfast, I grabbed my journal and pen and made my way to the opposite end of the little man-made lake from the castle. There, after thoroughly checking to make sure I would not be accosted by snails or spiders, I lay beside the waters' edge and allowed myself to really sink in to the beauty of the moment--to listen and hear, to let my imagination follow the Lord's leading. The following stream-of-consciousness, written in my journal, is what I believe He showed me . . .

'A thought as I lay here by the water. . . who do I want to be? What do I want to look like? People say my home is a place of rest. Peace. I want to be that in my spirit, my soul. I know I am not yet . .. Perhaps there are glimmers, but perhaps if I paint it with words it will be a step closer . . .

I want to be a place of beauty and rest. Inviting with the gentlest beauty. Before, in my life, words like 'kindness' and 'gentleness' seemed too 'nice;'not deep enough for me to really take seriously. Now I see they are far deeper than I was willing to go. That involved a brokeness of spirit and a vulnerability that I did not yet know. And now? I have only skimmed the surface. But I look at beauty as it comes today, a place of retreat glinting all over like studded jewels kissed with the light of love and truth, and want to understand. Truth, afterall, makes truth more beautiful. It can never minimize. As you, Lord, you never minimize. You always enhance.

And so this place today is a layering--one beauty enhancing another. The water reflecting only that which is itself lovely. The trees, each one stands alone, yet they build together a backdrop that speaks of security and safety. The castle. The serenity itself, even. Quietness has a voice of its own. The grass. The Lilies. The gazebo set in just the right tones of lazy green and gray and blue, shadowed into mystery. The little yellow buds next to me, with orange delicacies in the middle saying 'discover me, drink me in.' Daisies that know no jealously; only the fondness of being their joyful, playful selves and setting off everyone else's charms.

All of them say, 'Come. Make an experience of me.' Don't just glide above like the birds who only catch a shallow view. Rather, enter in. Shake off your crusty old flesh and awaken to a life that has nothing to do with prickles and stings. This is a sanctuary that welcomes hearts. Feeds them so they can beat stronger, louder, to the rthythm of absolute Grace. Grace is naked here, full of glory. It stands alone garbed only in its own delight at the fullness of its permission in Christ.

Do you want permission? Perhaps that's what we all long for. Permission to really be--to be ourselves, and that being speaks of rest. Pretense alone works hard. It sufferes itself to be full of itself. But contentment in just being is freedom--one we can only attain to when our environment creates boundaries for us in which we feel safe and alive.

Jesus is that environment. That place. But on a smaller scale I long to be such a habitation, within Him, for others. A place of invitation where people can come and stay awhile and be fed with the nourishment of love, and a grace that says, 'healing happens here. . . '

Isn't that the ministry the Lord has given to all of us? To be so other from the world that those in the world see and long to come to us that they may find rest? Find themselves caught up in something so beautiful and peaceful that they are transformed, through Christ, into the same?

The Bible says we are to be ambassadors for Christ. If that is the case, then I believe that we must continually ask ourselves, what are we communicating to the world about who our God is? Is He dark and foreboding, tired of the world and thus erecting a sign that says, 'keep out. You don't belong.' Or is He more like the sanctuary that I found myself in that day? One that was so unaware of its own beauty, so selfless in its kindness and gentleness, that it accepted even me, an intruder, into itself in such a way that its very nature enveloped my own, inviting me to join in and become like it.

Jesus always lets us in. And what we find when we get in is, to say the least, miraculous. That's the way I want to be--to live my life in such a way that I am a haven for others. 1 Peter says that a woman's beauty is found in her 'gentle and quiet' spirit. Revelation speaks of Jesus and His Bride saying, "Come." And we? We can all choose to live in such a way that our presence alone says one thing to others. "Welcome."

The Other Side of the Lake

Hairy Tennis Courts

Fountain on the grounds

How did Narnia's Lightpost end up here?

Playing by the Water's Edge

The Unpredictable Worshipper--thoughts

2006-08-07T17:00:00.000+02:00

Two days from now I am to preach on what it means to be an "unpredictable worshipper." We have been working through a series on worship for our weekly campus meetings for about five weeks now, and I have preached three times so far, but for some reason this topic is causing me, to well, think. Pause. Deliberate. I had no difficulties talking about why we worship, or the act of walking on water as an expression of worship, or for that matter, of what it means to be an "undone worshipper.' In fact dicussing worship for me is akin to breathing air--a natural part of who I am that requires very little to no effort. So why am I so stumped? Why this---unpredictable?

Various words crowd into my mind. Spontaneous. Sudden. Wild. Unusual. Unexpected. Out of the blue. Out of the ordinary. Catching one off guard. Unfamiliar. Tasting of something a little bit edgy, like the iron of sudden blood in one's mouth, only sweeter, tastier, but no less foreign. It cannot be normal. Cannot be seen in its approach. Won't be tamed.

Perhaps that's why, so many times, the act of being or receiving the unpredictable has the flare of discomfort about it. It isn't controllable. Rather, its way beyond us. Over our heads, perhaps. Past our brains. To live in unpredictability for most of us is to live in spurts--just so long as we can take it.

Why is that? So often we preach, and not without necessity, the value of basic tradition--foundational living built on steps 1, then 2, then 3. Our worship services can tend to be so contained. We maintain a consistency of form with the goal: Take the people with you. No sudden curves, twists or suprises. Our lives become monotonous. Warning . . . getting too . . .

. . . Emotional? Mysterious? Engaged? Isn't it true, that to be fully unpredictable, we must be unequivocaly engaged, with no outs? Don't most of us walk around with a room secreted in the back of our heads, a place of normalcy where at any time we can back into its four walls and shut the door? Did Jesus give Himself an out? I think not. I think when He came He came to give it all. He walked in an atmosphere of magic.

Magic. Yes. It's true. I used that word. But by it I do not mean that which Satan has adopted as his own, a dark power flirting with the imaginations of men. No. I use the word 'magic' only as it denotes 'other,' a sense of awe, 'something outside of ourselves,' 'wonder,' living beyond ourselves.' There is, afterall, always more. Never less. And that is where we fall so very very short.

Habitual creatures as we are, we live scraping from the dregs instead of sipping from the freely falling nectar--splendor, really--that comes from our God. Grace. We live as if there were an art to withholding, from ourselves, from each other, from our God. Perhaps it is an art, but it's not one I want to get too familiar with. I would rather learn the art of giving without regard. What happens when we let go and choose to be, oh God, vulnerable?

It wasn't caution that induced the woman with the jar of perfume to drench our Lord's head with every drop available. Jesus's take on it? 'She has done a beautiful thing to me' (Mark 14:6). Nor was it normal or acceptable or even sensible for Jesus to choose to die upon a cross. Satan Himself didn't expect Him to go that far--even less the resurrection that came after. And fresh new lovers (married, of course)--do they withhold from each other, protecting their separate little worlds from the passion at hand? No. They share everything. Otherwise, it would be a cold world indeed.

But it isn't. And we were created for something more than the normal, the benal, the predictable. We care called to live on the bread of life that comes new to us every morning. That is unpredictable. Yes, we walk in wisdom, of course, but also in freedom, fearing not to say or act an 'I love you,' at the most inopportune time, to do something completely unfabricated, ungoverned, ungaurded when the moment arises. Perhaps that's what it means to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. When we are moved in Him, we must forsake ourselves and do the thing that is unexpected. Afterall, isn't that what flames our existence--makes everything fresh, ALIVE, meaningful? And isn't our worship supposed to be just that?

Are you unpredictable? Am I? Will I be willing, when the time is right, to look up at my Lord and tell Him I love Him in the most unhindered, unartful, un-selfprotecting way possible? Will I choose to be me, me in love, giving all of me that there is to give? Will I be a worshipper of the most unpredictable kind, catching my Jesus off-guard, taking His very breath away with my unrestrained love? Will He say of me, 'she has done a beautiful thing to me'? Lord, let that be the cry of my heart--to worship you in spirit and in truth, freely, witholding nothing.

Summer Steps Towards a Big Vision

2006-07-23T22:25:00.000+02:00

Worship in My Apartment-Aaron leading

So far this summer, things have been interesting. We have set our sights on a goal that for some, may seem distant at best. But for us, it is what we are breathing and drinking in constantly. Just as God brought Abraham outside and told him to look up at the stars, giving him a picture of the destiny He had put on his life in regards to his descendants, we are in a way, this summer, stepping out to view the calling on our ministry.

You see, from having our last campus meeting (U-Nite) of the semester in my apartment due to rain (it was supposed to be a BBQ outside), to officially starting our brand new band, called U-Band, to delving into new territory with our summer theme of 'Worship; Marinating in God', things have been far more lively than one would normally expect for a hazy lazy summer. Anytime a new endeavor is begun, the "clogs" start working overtime just to gain momentum--and this has definitely been the case for us!

And the oil that has kept us making the effort it's taking to believe and step into new things is that of vision. There is a tremendous gap in the German speaking world for relevant, heart-impacting praise and worship music. Most churches here fill up their Sunday services with incredibly out-of-date German songs, or English songs that are either, at worst, incomprehensible to those singing them, or at best, awkwardly translated and fit into stanzas that work well only in English!

So we have a vision, and a prayer, for God to raise up musicians in the German speaking world who will begin a music movement that will have a a similar impact here as what music from Hillsong, Australia has had all over the world. With young people who have the technical skill, the creative ability to write, and most importantly a deep relationship with Jesus Christ along with character to prove it--there's really no end to what God can do! As we all know, music digs into the hearts of men and women like no other medium on earth.

Fully convinced of this, somehow, the young people in our ministry here are crazy enough to believe that it could begin with us! We are, in a sense, stepping out on the water as Peter did, asking Jesus, "if it's really You out there, let us come too!"

And so far, it's been a great adventure! There has been a growing anticipation in our students, 16 of whom are in some way involved with our U-Band; from working the sound board to learning the guitar, to singing. With a practice session every Friday evening and a live performance at least once a week at our campus meeting, things are moving fast. Students are even already turning in and performing songs they have written themsevles--and they are awesome songs, at that! Within no time we will able to move on to the next stage of this crazy huge vision; what we have dubbed U-Track--taking our U-Band to play from church to church around Europe!

Please pray with us as we continue to take one step after the other out on this shimmering water. Lord, let us not eye the storm and begin to sink in doubt, but rather keep our eyes on You and keep us walking towards the vision ahead.

Thanks for believing with us!

Students Piled in my Room

Martina, Katarina, and I during our meeting

1st Official Band Practice For Our New U-Band

Slide at 1st U-Summer - "Warning! Forget What You Know, God Will Take You to New Places!"

Me Preaching at our First U-Summer Meeting on "Worship . . . Why?"

U-Camp--"Inside-Out"

2006-06-16T17:33:00.000+02:00

Cross with Candles

Two Weekends ago, our campus ministry took a giant leap forward in terms of maturity and becoming better equipped for a fruitful semester in the fall. God pushed us beyond ourselves.

That was what we were praying for. As our leadership team prayed and planned for a over month for this upcoming retreat, called 'U-Camp', we labored to hear God's heart on what we should speak on, and on what He wanted to accomplish in the lives of our students. It was going to be a significant retreat. Not only were we training leaders, we were passing major responsibility off to them. A significant portion of our team is preparing to move to different locations throughout Europe over the next several months, so we needed to trust God that the students would rise up and be able to not only fill the gaps, but take us further in the direction God is calling us to go.

Thus, with that hope in mind, we travelled three hours into Switzerland--back to Davos for me, ironically--in order to gather in an incredible house that was more than capable of accomodating our group; 24 from Innsbruck, plus four who joined us from Nürnberg, and two from Salzburg. We were 30 in all.

And we began to work out our theme, "inside-out." On Saturday evening (the day we arrived), we opened the session with Aaron preaching about "Returning to your 1st Love." There is no better place to start than in the heart of God, and we knew He was calling all back to Himself in a new and fresh way. I wish you could have experienced His powerful presence the way we did that night. I picture it as though Jesus were sitting right up close and personal to each person there (He really was, but to imagine it paints the scene much closer to the way it was), dicussing deep things of the heart with them. In fact, the evening came to an end with students spread out throughout the room, literally sitting or laying somewhere on the floor, simply enjoying Him.

The next day, our team member, Addison, spent the morning teaching about personality types. Through this, we wanted to bring a greater sense of unity within our group, as well as build the confidence level of each person with the revelation that, "oh, this is why I am the way I am . . . this is how I work." Thus, Addison led the group through a personality test, and then divided them into four quadrants, choleric, sanguin, melancholy, and phlegmatic--in order to explain things using visual aids. As you can imagine, it was quite comical to see who was in what group . . . you could almost see light bulbs going off in each head saying, 'oh, so that explains why so-and-so does that. . . " There was much laugher and fun over it.

But there was also a deeper work going on than, I think, most realized. You see, over the past year we have been fighting a cultural trait withint the German-speaking culture that tears others down rather than building them up. There is a common saying here, that 'no correction is praise enough.' Most family's methodology for child-rearing centers around telling their kids what they can't do and what they've done wrong--not, what they can do and what they've done right. It would seem that there is enough pain from the past in this group of people that giving praise is far too vulnerable--far too foreign for most to handle. Thus, while our group is absolutely precious--all having strong hearts after God--one of the things we have had to focus on is how to encourage one another, how to appreciate each others differences, even to love them, and thus how to verbally give praise. This weekend, for us, was the culmination of all of our work.

So, Volker brought the point home that evening, after lunch and a break, through a strong message on encouraging one another. We then broke out into a time of worship and prayer with the leadership specifically praying for the needs of our students. Again, God showed up in amazing ways. He was moving, setting people free.

Monday morning was my day to teach on spiritual gifts. By explaining how our gifts help to determine our personalities and the role we are each called to play in the Body of Christ, as well as defining specific gifts and sharing how they work, the goal was to equip the students in a very practical way for the work of the ministry. It is one thing to learn how to see others, and then to encourage them . . . but when we can learn to walk and work with the Holy Spirit in order to give to others out of the power of God that is within us, that is when lives change. People come to a greater knowledge of Him.

So, from practical training to practical application that night, we could really see a difference in our students. There was a new boldness about them, a new assurance that they could do it--they could bless others and minister to their needs. All night they were asking one another, 'can I pray for you?' God was transforming lives and setting a new fire in their hearts for the ministry that is to come.

And come it will--which was perhaps one of the most exciting aspects of our weekend. It is one thing to have a mountain-top experience, but quite another to take that experience back down the mountain, roll up your sleeves, and get to work! And that's what began to happen even before we left Switzerland. On Monday evening and Tuesday morning our students signed up for the specific leadership roles they want to play in our ministry next year. They then met as a leadership team, and began to dream about what is possible. And as we all know, with God, anything--no, everything is possible! (pics below)

Aaron preaching on 'Returning to Your First Love'

Me teaching on Spiritual gifts with Karla translating

Driving a Point Home

Student Taking Notes

Maurius before the Lord

Our New Worship Team

My good friend Sabine and I

A Brief Taste of History--Tuscany and Roma

2006-06-15T21:01:00.000+02:00

My South African Friends: me, Sam, Bronwynn, and Carley

Several weekends ago, God gave me a huge gift. Okay, so, He's gifted me with about a million things of late . . . my new car, trips to Switzerland, miraculous advancements in the German language. But there are times when we all just need, well, time--time with friends, time to just be. Of course I am surrounded by friends here in Innsbruck, but God gave me an extra special weekend with some girls from South AFrica that I will be forever grateful for.

You may remember an article I wrote last winter about a mission team that came from South Africa to reach out on campuses both in Nürnberg and Salzburg. Well, during my short time with the team in Salzburg, God divinely connected my heart to one of the team members who will eventually move to the German speaking world as a missionary herself. Her name is Carley.

While in Salzburg, she mentioned that she and her family had plans to visit Italy during the summer, and we spoke of the possibility of my joining them for a few days, since it is only a hop, skip, and a jump away. Well, that possibility became a reality, and a Thursday evening saw me taking my first night-train to Tuscany.

Tuscany was another world for me. Lazy and hazy. Hot, in spite of the mountainous cold that blasted above just a few hours away. Country in all of its ways. Old. Very very old. Like many of the people--wrinkled and moving to a certain rhythm that denotes the slow capture of a life succulent enough to relish, free enough to let go of. There is a messiness about Italia, italians, that throws care to the wind and simply joins in with the hooplah. Nothing seems to be taken care of, and yet everything is made to be cared for. It is a land of ironies.

Add to that a large South African family (with three very lively daughters), that, when time to pray over the evening meal, bursts out into a resonant, melodic, quite beautiful and shocking song of praise. . . you've got an experience that's about to be had.

Getting lost on a relatively open path overlooking the countryside would be one of them. How we did it, I really don't know. Tuscany isn't like the forested, mountainous, every road has a bend in it region I now live in . . . rather, you go somewhere on top of a hill and, in spite of some trees, you see the rest of everything else. Somehow we managed it, though. We took not one, but two wrong turns and ended up trudging up and down this way and that, bypassing private property signs to discover some, please God, shortcut. We finally found one, but along the way we also saw some "novelites" to boot. Like the town that carries with it the heavy heritage of Germans, just as WWII was ending, as an act of revenge, lining up and shooting every single man as the entire town gathered in a church for a holy holiday--in front of the women. They then lit the entire village on fire. It is too dark of a thing to reconcile with such a light and airy land. Finding the largest, billowiest dandelion I've ever seen seemed far more appropriate in such a place.

That was Friday, though, and Saturday we left villa, parents and grandmother for the train. For Roma. History, I believe, pulled that train along faster than its own engines. I've read about this city of cities. I've imagined its smells and its streets. I've seen in my mind a past that reduces nearly every other into something far less weighty than its own. So much.

Too much to be experienced in the two days I had. So, we had to pick and choose. Well, the girls, Carley, Sam, and Bronwynn, gave me first choice as I had to leave sooner then they. So my pick? The Coliseum. I knew I had to see it. It was somehow a work of art-a testament to man's design and forethought, and most of all, to passions gone awry. And, while it is but the bones of what once was, it still verifies a past that once again belies the people and culture it's surrounded by. Set a passionate carefree people that drive as crazily as they live against the backdrop of the mastermind of men and a culture entranced by the 'joy' of the kill, you wonder how in the world what was has become what is . . .

. . . that, and a youth hostile's shower that stopped up along with the toilet so that I was left, completely soapy, with one girl plunging away at the drain and me practically swimming in the filth of its contents until I could get rinsed . . . one has to wonder, what kind of place is this . . . ?

As amazing as those history and 'sanitary' lessons were, thankfully the next day carried with it the stronger tones of South African merriment. There was the unexpected shopping in which all three girls were throwing tops at me, shouting 'try this, this would look great on you!,' They pampered and blessed me. Then there was the traipsing all throughout town, the fountain we sunned ourselves by, the sun-kissed photo shoot I got to take of the girls, the sunset-streaked bridge near the Vatican, and the unexpected music lesson in which I learned to sing a bit of harmony. It was all so colorful. Gleeful. Relaxed in the land of the siesta.

But of course, the story wouldn't be complete without a flight at night--footsteps resounding of a haunting history. Of course, this one looked a little more comical, as our race to catch the last subway train for dinner ended in my breaking the heal off my new lovely shoe, leaving me to walk off-kilter for the rest of the night. Delightfully, the helping hand of my good friends, and later Carley's sacrifical choice to go barefoot so I could wear her shoes, reminded me that God Himself supports the past, and our own imbalances and ironies, through the redemptive power and light of His Son's costly cross. Hope is in the air, if we but choose to breathe it in. (pictures to follow in this and the next article)

Tuscan Village Destroyed by Germans at end of WWII

South Africa Meets Largest Dandelion in Tuscany

Awaiting the Train to Rome

Shopping in Rome

Colorful Roman Streets

A Brief Taste of History--More To See

2006-06-15T18:21:00.000+02:00

It's Real! The Coliseum!

From Within

Our Dramatic Tour Guide

View From Palace Ruins Over Rome

Carley and Bronwyn

Philosophical Ruins

The Center of Ancient Rome

In Front of the Fountain

An Evening to Remember

2006-06-13T13:35:00.000+02:00

The Men Treating the Ladies Like Queens

An Invitation. Chauffeur service. Meandering waiters with drinks and hors d'oeuvres. A five-course meal. Draping material, flickering candles, flowers, soft music in the background. Then, each person led to their seat, marked by a hand-made name-card decorated with paper flowers. A five-course meal. Entertainment later on in the evening. Then dancing.

Sounds like a dream. We experienced it as a reality. This is what happens when men of God rise up and call the women in their circle blessed. This was last Sunday evening for the women in our ministry.

We had been told about it only a few days prior to the event. 'When you return from your Victory Weekend Retreat, we have a suprise for you . . . .' I think most of us imagined--well, whatever we imagined, the guys went far above and beyond our expectations. We knew we must dress up. And that we would be picked up. But beyond that, we didn't know where. We didn't know what.

Where: Our church offices, transformed into a glimmering haven. What: A night where the guys literally did nothing but serve the women. They picked each one of us 20+ girls up and took us home. They made sure our glasses were full and led us to our seats when it was time for our meal. They cooked the entire meal (thank the Lord for a chef in our group!). They read from the menu in German, English, and Russian before each new course. They provided a live performance with drums. Then, they took the women in their arms and waltzed. It was lovely. They made us feel like queens.

Some of the women: me, Sabine, Karla, and Erin

Lamb--the fourth course of our meal

Towards the end of the evening . . .

Isa and Maria

The men serving in the kitchen

Dancing at the end of the evening

An Unexpected "Push" in Switzerland

2006-06-01T21:32:00.000+02:00

On The Way To Davos . . . + (more pictures below)

For over a month now I've been having the feeling that my English-speaking days are quickly looming towards their end. Not that I'm not to speak English at all, but, well, I simply no longer have any leverage to excuse myself from speaking German. The words 'Fehler' (mistake) and 'Angst' (fear), well, began to make as much sense to me auf Deutsch as in English. And, they no longer seemed to direct me towards avoidence. Rather, they said, 'detour,' meaning . . . move forward, even if it means slowly.

Now, you have to understand, I wrote German off a long time ago. Not just German, but, in fact, every other language known to man, besides my own of course (I am a writer and communicator, after all)! At the end of high school, after a disappointing German teacher and a long season of frustration, I decided that I just wasn't cut out to do it. Languages were for left brain'ers only. Too mathematical. Too structured and logical for my intuitive, creative self. And should God want me to be a missionary? Well, it would be in an English-speaking country in Europe, of course!

But, well, we all know that things didn't turn out quite as I'd planned; As I sought to maintain a decent amount of personal comfort while still 'pioneering for God.' When God said Austria, well, that meant, um, getting back in the saddle again.

So, being the black and white person that I am . . . knowing that no choice of mine was involved any longer, I got up and got learning--actually made it one of my main goals for this year. And with each new challenge I've faced I've had to recognize that I can learn this, I can do this.

In fact, my university course this semester has had consequences--you know, the kind you experience when something you wanted begins to come to pass and all you can see is that point of no-return looming before you, causing you to ask yourself, did I really want this? Well, by that point, usually what has been started is not about to be stopped. I began to dream in German. Now, it may have only been on the level of a 1 year old trying to comprehend it's mother's usage of 'hot,' and 'stop,' but it was still auf Deutsch. Then,one day during a church meeting, my pastor, in German, asked me to share a recent testimony we'd had. It took me a moment, but once I realized that he was speaking to me, I automatically began to reply, auf Deutsch, without even thinking. That is, until it was too late. Then I began to wonder to myself, as I searched desperately for vocabulary and grammar rules, 'why in the world are you doing this?' The others in the room must have thought the same thing as their jaws dropped one by one to the floor. Frankly, their suprise was hilarious. Their applause when I finished? At the same time heartening and terrifying. Oh gosh . . . I can no longer hide . . .

And, while I stubbornly continued to allow myself my 'English-rights,' even after that meeting, the feeling continued to grow in me stronger and stronger--it was time, it was time, it was time for me to just take the plunge . . .

That plunge came with a swift push by the name of 'Switzerland.' Can I say, I didn't see it coming--not THAT way, at least? Two weeks ago I had to travel there for the first time for 'political' and strictly 'political' reasons. Still waiting for my Visa to go through, my allotted time to remain in the country was up and I needed to leave the EU. So, to Switzerland I went for the weekend. I chose to go to the city of Davos, where we have a church, only because I could stay with someone for free, and I really just wanted a small quiet town affording walks and study-time, rather than a fast paced city like Zurich. Hmm. English would have worked much better in Zurich . . .

Once I arrived in Davos it wasn't long before I realized that neither the pastors nor the woman I was to stay with spoke English (or very much English). Hmmm. Okay. Interesting. And, in spite of that, it soon became apparent, too, that they wanted to get to know me, to spend time with me, since only a few people have visited them in a long long time. Me? Hmm. okay. Well, Dinner. Then, birthday lunch with the entire family including grandparents, the next day. And the whole time learning to navigate someone else's home using another language. All of that was challenging, but doable for me. Then came the bomb. I was to be their 'main event' for their church meeting that Sunday night . . . meaning . . .they weanted to interview me in German and I was to answer, in German. Gulp. Me?, I kept asking myself. Why? What did I have to offer? I was going to be the youngest one there. This was only my first time. And the language . . . Regardless, I knew I couldn't really say no, though . . .

And, of course, it all 'went,' as one would say in German. It worked. I actually did it. Now, my German may have been brutal to listen to, but they understood me and we communicated--using no English. It was a huge step for me. For the first time I shared my salvation story, my testimony about moving to Austria, and my vision to reach the German-speaking world for Christ, all in German. Through it all, watching the reactions of the people there, I was reminded of the book of Revelation saying, "And they shall overcome the enemy with the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony . . . " Somehow, it was powerful, and I knew God was in it and was using it.

But as great as that was, that wasn't main the push for me. What happened later that night was, however. It, more than anything, catipulted me past the point of no return. You see, after the church meeting I went back to my accomodations, intending to go to bed early in order to drive back to Austria in the morning. European-style, my hostess and I took tea before bed. And that's when it happened. The woman I stayed with, a 60-something year old with a huge heart for God, years of wisdom to give away, and the gift to be a spiritual mother to many, began to open up her life up to me. Me? Me. All because, as we were speaking in German, I felt led to give her a brief encouragement--all the while asking myself if I was taking too big of a leap to try and minister to someone much older and wiser than I.

Completely suprised, I watched as tears began to run down her face. She then began to tell me about the years she spent with her abusive, alcoholic husband. About her fears and doubts that she really could minister to others. About her questions regarding her own self-worth. She, on the leadership team with this European church, was crying out for 'help.' And in listening to her, I couldn't help but see the irony. Here I was focusing on my own perceived lack of ability when here was a woman desperately in need of someone, anyone, even a young rifraf of a girl who was butchering her language, to simply tell her that God loves her and that He has a plan for her life--that she is not only needed, but more than capable of reaching out to others.

Why did she open up to me, and so suddenly? Well, it turns out that the little encouragement I gave her in German exactly reflected and confirmed a Scripture that the Lord had been leading her to Himself. He spoke through me without my even knowing it!

So, God can use my German? He can speak deep things through me even when I feel so very restricted to superficial conversation? The answer was and is, very profoundly, Yes! Yes and Amen! And isn't that always the way? God chooses the weak and foolish things of this world to confound the wise. I learned that day that He wants to use my German, imperfections and all. My fear and my own self-centered fixation on what I might do wrong are no longer viable options. It is, afterall, not about my comfort, but about those who need to be comforted. And He will use anyone, anyone who is willing, that is, to meet the needs of His precious saints.

I know that many of you have been praying for my ability with the German language, and for that, I heartily thank you. It is working! God is moving! And please, keep praying if you are able. At a retreat of sorts for our church, two weekends from now, I have been asked to preach not once, but twice in German. Once again I feel pushed past by my abilities, but I am not about to shrink back now. Through your prayers and God's moving, people will be ministered to!

Ruins in Swiss Mountains

Overlooking Davos

Swiss Mountains

Providing Mountain Water For the City

World War I and II Cemetary for Soldiers

Bridge High Up

Couldn't Help It! My Car's First Time in Switzerland!

A New Arrival . . . My New Car

2006-05-08T20:20:00.001+02:00

Here it is!

After waiting for 15 months for a car here in Austria, well, the day arrived at last--and that day was today! So, here it is! Welcome to my new car--a lovely black 2001 P.T. Cruiser that smacks of future fun!

Looking at it in disbelief, as it sits outside my window just now, I am still trying to retrain my mind; 'no, you don't have to look at any more cars,' 'yes, you can now shop at Hofer,' 'no, you needn't call Addison for a ride in the morning, nor climb that silly mountain to staff meeting,' 'and YES, you can travel freely as of right now!' Ahhh. Somehow the air has gotten more expansive, the limits have suddenly shifted.

Those limits shrunk rather suddenly over a year ago when I chose to let go of my little green Honda in order to move here. I had an idea, but God really knew, what I was in for by doing so. Yes, along with moving came a greater sense of adventure and possibility. But in getting settled in to everyday life, I realized, well, how hemmed in I really was. My feet, the bus, and the tram became my new constant companions. Oh, and the phone. I have never been so dependant on people in my adult life. 'Please, can you take me here.' 'Is it possible for me to join you when you go there?' 'I have a trip to take? May I borrow your car?'

Humbling is a good way to describe it. But don't you know, there are times that unless we allow the Lord to decrease our borders, we will miss the opportunity to see how much He really does take care of us? Even without four wheels with its little house ontop, I had everything I needed. More than that, I had the people I needed--which was by far the greatest lesson. How generous can a person be? What are the limits? Well, in this case, I can attest to the fact that there was no end to peoples' helpfulness and sacrifices. From taking a significant amount of time out of their day to take me somewhere, to lending me their car for something as non-work-related as my 8 day vacation--without my even asking--people amazed me. They taught me that the Lord hears us, He knows when we are asking, calling, seeking, knocking--and He answers. He does not withhold Himself from us out of selfishness. Ever. Nor does He require that we ask in just this way, be just so good, or that we attain to just the right degree of holiness, before He provides.

And, my friends, there is always a day when the hemming in transitions into His setting us in a wide place where our ankles will not turn. It is as a changed person that I walk into this new season of greater freedom--and greater service. And this car, well, isn't just a car. How many of you know that God will use anything and everything to show us something about HImself. And this car shows me that He really does go above and beyond all we could ask or think. Through amazing partners God provided the funds. He then led me in the direction of the car He had for me. And although I could have settled for another, in waiting just that much longer . . . He brought the right one in the right time. And let me show you how much God hears us--and how He choose to be beyond us! Below is a chart showing both what I and my prayer team were asking for, and what else He wanted and decided to provide . . .

Requested From the Lord /Extras
1. Summer and winter tires 1. Heated seats
2. Low Mileage . .. 88,700 Kilometers 2. leather interior
3. CD Player 3. Side Airbags
4. Front Air Bags 4. Built-in compass
5. year 2,000 + (it's a 2001) 5. newly inspected/newly replaced brake pads
6. Air Conditioner 6. electric seats (up and down)
7. Good/Fun looks 7. Original owner had it lowered closer
8. 7,500-8,000E =7,500E to the ground, making it ride
better, and look cooler!

Isn't He amazing!?! And the truth is, He's that amazing for all of us! I believe that God literally burns to love us, to provide for us, to come through for us. Afterall, what did He send His Son to die for if not to begin a never-ending story of His working out His extravagant love . . . just for us. And how many of you know, we can give love when we learn to receive it . . .

Thank you for being so wonderful! God has used you to teach me about His goodness! Deanna (p.s. there are more pictures below)

My Own New Austrian License Plates

This Car is Now Official

Getting In . . .

It's Time To Take This Baby Home